Run that one by me again
by SoFrost
Summary: Cath has a proposition for Sara... C/S
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:** I still don't own anything but my poor words.**

Summary: **Cath has a proposition for Sara... C/S**

**Howdy everyone. I know I should be working on 'What do you shrink?' and I am, but Mojo wouldn't let go of this so I had to give in. It was originally supposed to be a one shot...but for those who know me, you know I don't know the meaning of 'one shot' yet so obviously it won't be.**

**It's a C/S story (what a shock) so if it isn't your thing, don't read.**

**Enjoy,**

**So ;)**

**ps: **scuby** I'd like to thank you, because my idea was dead material as far as I was concerned and yet you convinced me to give it one more shot which was the good one. So if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have written that one. Thank you, as always to guide me through the maze of my ideas, for arguing with me and helping me out. ;)**

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**Run that one by me again...**

**By SoFrost**

**Act 1 : Sara**

Catherine is putting our evidence cases in the back of her truck, finally ready to head back home, and since she picked me up last night, she's driving me back.

"Doing anything after shift?" she asks me.

"Nope," I reply flatly. I must say that this past week I haven't planned much after work. I'm not a party animal but I seldom stay in my apartment. Usually, I'll see some friends, or go out with the guys of the shift, go to a club or to the movies. "Any idea?" I enquire.

She shuts the trunk and walk around to get on the driver seat and waits for me to get in. "Yeah," she smirks before sliding her sunglasses on to face the harsh rays of the morning sun.

We're sitting in the car in silence, getting comfortable before talking about eventual plans.

"So," I sigh with enthusiasm. "What do we do?"

She flashes me a grin, but not any grin. One of those grins, I know that kind too well, I am now dreading to know what her little mind came up with.

"Oh no, I know that smile, nothing good ever come after it," I joke, well only half joke.

"What?" she says innocently. She turns sideways in her seat and bites her bottom lips as she runs her fingers up my arm. "How about we just go back to my place, get naked and fuck each other until we can't move?"

I look at her straight face and can't help the laugh escaping my throat. She cocks one eyebrow in response. "What? Afraid you wouldn't be able to keep up with me in bed Sidle?" she adds which only make my laughter double.

I calm myself a bit after a breathless minute. "You're funny today," I chuckle. "For real, what do we do?"

She slides her sunglasses up on her head and looks at me intently.

Oh.

My smile fades immediately and I'm sure that my features are painting disbelief right now. "You actually meant that, didn't you?" I ask even though I already know the answer.

She simply nods and doesn't seem the least bit baffled by her request, like she had only asked me what the weather was like. Trust Catherine to be able to actually voice this kind of things with the serious of a priest.

"Look, we argue all the time. It's always…passionate…close…we try to get under each other's skin and we do a damn good job of it," she starts, I can't believe she's actually trying to talk me through this. "And maybe they're right…maybe if we just fuck we'll get it out of our system…"

"Okay wow, run that one by me again?" I ask perplexed, but I don't give her time to answer as my brain catches up with another detail. "Wait, hold on, who's 'they'?"

Catherine cringes realising that she probably told much more than she should have. I get it now.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you've been listening to the boys running their mouths again," I say in a whiny tone.

"Maybe they have a point. All I'm saying is why not try redirecting that energy? You know they say fuck or fight…we could just try it once…see what happens," she shrugs.

"Yeah right, you know what, I'm going to let you go home and get some sleep, because obviously you're not thinking properly."

"It's because I'm old, isn't it?" she asks seriously. "You think I'm wrinkled and old and disgusting. You can say it…just be honest."

"What?? Oh come on, give me a little credit here."

"Then what is it? It's because I'm a mother? I can't have wants and needs because I have Lindsey, is that it?" I barely have time to open my mouth in protest that she's already talking again. "That's awfully narrow minded of you…won't do it because I have a kid. I mean, I know you say you suck with kids, but gee Sara…it's not like I'm asking you to make her breakfast after we do it."

"Oh I do know you have a sex life," I roll my eyes. "What's wrong with you?" I can't believe we're having this conversation while being sober.

"Is it because of Grissom? It is…isn't it?" oh god. "You really are fucking him aren't you?" she fakes a gag reflex.

"Oh please Grissom?! What? I'm desperate now, is that it?" Oh lord please have mercy and avert any visual of those forbidden and ugly thoughts from getting through my mind …ugh, too late. Great. I shiver feeling suddenly dirty. "I so need a shower now," I mutter more to myself than anything.

"Then what is it?" her mouth drop open. "It's because I'm a woman, isn't it?" she laughs. "Come on Sidle! It would have seemed like even you'd understand that a woman knows a woman best. I take back the bit about you being narrow minded because I'm a mom, this really take the cake here."

"Oh please! What's next? What's the next reason you'll find? Because you have freckles? I don't want to get in your pants because you have freckles? Or because you have blue eyes? Gee…would you cut the paranoia act and…"

Who would have thought that the great, overconfident Catherine Willows was so insecure?

"Oh…It's because of you, isn't it? You're bad in bed, aren't you? Don't worry," she puts her hand on my arm again

"I don't give a fuck if you're a woman, if you feel old, if you have stretch marks from giving birth, if you have a daughter, a dog, freckles or whatever…"

"If you practice, you get better," she keeps on, talking at the same time that I do, and it takes me a second or two to catch up with the beginning of what she just said.

"Great, you know what let's call it a morning," I say angry at her being so presumptuous and being so full of herself on top of that. I'm reaching the door handle ready to exit the care.

"Why are so adamantly opposed to trying it?"

I turn back to her abruptly "You're my friend for goodness' sake!" I snap. "I don't fuck my friends!"

"You've never slept with a friend before?"

"I did actually, and I learned my lesson, so no, no more fucking friends."

"What if…what if we don't fuck, what if we just have sex…?"

"Result's the same, you're my friend, I'm not having sex with you, or fucking you."

"How long ago? How long ago did you sleep with a friend?" she asks.

"Catherine, it doesn't matter, this is not going to happen, period."

"Fine…that means Hodges wins…"

Unbelievable but true, this conversation just keeps on getting better and better. "Win?" I ask sharply.

"Oh didn't I mention that part?"

"No, but by all mean, humour me."

"Do you really think I came up with all this on my own? That I'd just come to you and propose this?"

"Somehow it didn't really surprise me coming from you."

"Yes, because I'm a slut and everyone know it right?" she spits with a shake of her head. I just roll my eyes, not wanting to go down that road. Lucky me she decides to let it slide. "The guys…Nick, Greg and Rick were talking about it…about us and the tension, the fighting…Greg made one of his usual comments followed by a cattish growl…then they started betting whether or not sleeping together would end the fights. Hodges placed hundred on the fact that it would never happen anyway because you're… well we'll just leave it at that."

"Because I'm what?" I push.

"You're right…this was a bad idea…you're probably not the frigid bitch he thinks you are. When he said that you could freeze water on your ass because you were so cold, he didn't know what he was talking about."

"I'm going to make him eat his balls," I say through my teeth.

"And how are you going to do that?" she giggles a bit, but I'm past the point to find anything funny.

"And you agreed?" I ask. "To what he said?" I elaborate.

"I mean, really? How would he now if you're really a polar ice cap on two feet?" she ignores my question.

"So you agreed," I state this time.

"I was eavesdropping, I wasn't standing there talking with them, Sar."

"But that's exactly what you think," I say firmly.

"I think you're incredibly sexy woman who happens to be my friend and who says she won't sleep with me because she doesn't sleep with her friend anymore, and if that's what you tell me then, that's what you tell me."

"I'm not cold. Fuck him for saying that," my voice is lace with rage.

"Calm down."

"…And fuck you for agreeing, you don't know anything about me in that aspect!"

"Did I agree?" she asks but I ignore her.

I'm heaving so much I'm angry. I take a deep cleansing breath before speaking again. "You know what I'm going to pretend this conversation never happened."

"Did I agree?" she repeats a bit forcefully.

"You didn't disagree."

"No matter what I say here, I lose."

"Damn right, you will lose. This is not happening. I'll catch a ride by myself," I say opening the door.

She mumbles as I'm starting to exit so I turn to her again. "What was that?"

"I said make sure whoever you ride with has earmuffs and gloves…would hate to see them get frost bite," she smirks.

"Fuck you Willows," I say with despise before slamming the door shut on my way out.

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**Merry Christmas everyone, I hope Santa didn't forget you ;)**

**Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there, thanks for the feedback, here's some more.**

**Enjoy,**

**So ;)**

**ps: **scuby** you rock as always, thanks for working this one through with me ;)**

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**Act 2: Catherine**

I'm staring at my phone, I should take it and call Sara. I should apologize, it wasn't meant to go like that. Yeah well she didn't exactly play nice. I know I have to apologize but it'll wait until our shift tonight. Plus, knowing her she'll probably think I'm calling back for an encore, so I'm going to give her some space and I'll apologize first thing when I see her later.

Hearing the boys' theory and giving it a thought, it occurred to me that there was nothing wrong trying or at least talking it through. Sara was a bit more uptight about it than I would have thought. Okay, so admittedly I might have been too blunt about it, but then again I've never been one to beat around the bush.

I didn't expect her reaction. I'm usually able to get what I want or to talk my way through things, I guess Sara is and will stay one of the very few people whose refusal affects me at a rather deep level.

Let's go get some sleep, this conversation tired me more than anything. It went out of hand, it shouldn't have ended up like it did. And by the time I understood that I might have offended her, she was already in full angry mode, needless to say that I couldn't back-pedal, and being myself I needed to have the last word, hence my last remark which was really uncalled for.

Anyway, it's the same old thing between us, just a different day.

I'm awaken from my slumber by a combination of banging and bell ringing. I manage to drag myself out of bed in spite of my uncoordinated movements. I don't take time to put a robe over my sweat pants and t-shirt as the noise just seems to increase. The problem with sleeping during days is that people think that 1p.m. is a perfectly respectable time to come bother me, wrong it isn't.

"I'm coming," I shout at the door while going downstairs. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the hallway mirror, it is not a sight to remember, my hair is messy, I'm not wearing any make up and every sign of tiredness. "This better worth your…" my words die on my lips as I swing the door open and discover my visitor. "Fucking…Sara?" she's probably the last person I expected to see today. "What are you doing here?"

She doesn't answer and moves toward me. She just grabs my waist and kisses me while pushing me inside, closing the door with her foot.

I push her away and take a step back. I lick my lips and look at her. "What is wrong with you?"

"I came to take you up on that offer," she simply says before stepping toward me again.

"Offer?" I rise my hands up to stop her. "No you don't. You stay right there…"

"What? Wasn't it you who said we should…fuck each other?"

I cringe at the words coming from her. It doesn't sound like earlier at all. "Are you…are you drunk?" one look at her eyes and I have my answer, not to mention the smell. "Did you even get home after you left me today? Or did you go straight to a bar?"

I can feel the bitter taste of alcohol on my tongue and the smell of cigarette finally registers in my brain.

"You know, you're wrong," she says not paying attention to anything I said.

"I'm wrong? About what?"

"I'm not cold at all," she moves to me again.

"Okay, Sara, you're not cold…now let me call you a cab so you can go home and sleep this off."

In spite of her inebriated state her moves are quicker than I anticipated and soon I found her kissing me again, running her hands up my waist.

I squirm and push as hard as I can to get her away. "Damn it, no!" I shout. "You're…not…we're not doing this."

"You don't want me now?" she pout before smiling lazily.

I don't bother answering and turn my back to her as I head to the kitchen toward the phone. "I'll call you a cab Sar."

I pick up the phone and start to dial. I startle when I feel two arms snaking around my waits and a pair of lips attaching themselves on my neck. My heartbeat increases in a matter of seconds and a wave of heat just rush into my whole being. I drop the phone and close my eyes at the sensation as my body betrays me. My hands find hers and hold them in place, then my synapses start to fire again and I step away. I hate myself for being so reactive to her touch already. "Damn it, you're not playing fair Sara," I struggle a bit to breathe.

This is all backfiring at me, which is unfair.

I pass a hand in my hair. "You didn't want to do this, and now that you've gone out drinking you show up at my place three sheets to the wind and think what? That I'm going to take you to bed…just so you can prove Hodges wrong?"

She takes a step toward me and put her hands on my waist. I push her away as much as I can but my body is weakened by her proximity and she appears to be stronger than I thought even in her drunken state. Her mouth is on my neck again and I'm struggling to keep the control of the situation.

"I don't give a damn about Hodges," she says in between two nibble of my skin.

The few minutes of pleasure quickly turn into disgust, as she refuses to let go of me when obviously I don't want the promiscuity.

"Stop it…Sara….just stop!" I push harder and slap her with blunt force. She barely moves or reacts to my gesture.

"Can you honestly say you don't want me?" she asks smugly.

"You're drunk. I don't sleep with drunks. I married one…I'm not going down that path again. Now I'll call you a cab and you go home…sleep this off before shift," I talk with my hands in the air in order to keep a safe distance between us.

Maybe my words finally register, maybe she's just realising what just happened. She just sighs in a jaded way and walk to the door. "Don't bother," she throws over her shoulder before walking out of my house.

I chase after her and catch up as she's already getting in her car. "Give me your keys…I'll call you a cab," I hold her door, keeping her from closing it.

"I'll be fine," her voice is void of any emotion. "Go home, Catherine."

"I am home, Sara."

She closes her door forcefully, and lucky me I have reflexes because I would have lost a finger or two otherwise. Now I'm pissed even more than minutes ago.

"You know what? Fine…go ahead…leave…drive drunk," I spit. "I just hope you don't kill anyone."

"Whatever," she mutters before driving off.

I growl with frustration knowing that I should have tried harder not to let her drive in her state and really hoping that she'll make it home in one piece and without casualities.

I'm mad at her for pulling something like that and I sure as hell will let her know.

Damn you, Sidle!

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**Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ohdaley! Thank you so much for the reviews, you always make my day. On for Act 4 then.**

**Enjoy,**

**So ;)**

**ps: **scuby** you rock!**

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**Act 3: Sara**

I open my locker abruptly, the adrenaline rush I felt at the scene we just proceed hasn't crashed down yet. It was a good rush but now the light feeling of vulnerability you have after the release is starting to come back to the surface, making me shake a bit. I have to say that it's good to feel alive. Rare are the time our job offers us a little action but when it does it's really exhilarating.

"How could you be so fucking stupid?" Catherine barges in the locker room and barks at me immediately. "Didn't you learn your lesson last time?"

I look at her blankly not understanding her outburst. "What is this about?"

"Don't act like you had no fucking clue, Sidle," she snaps. "You have to let the cop clear a scene before you walk into it."

"Again, what is this about?"

"Sidle, you walked in there right behind the cops, your gun drawn!"

"Yeah so? I did my job, I miss the part where that was wrong."

"You were supposed to let them clear it!" she shouts. "What if the perp had shot you or taken you hostage?"

"I was behind the cop…"

"Fuck Sara, you're not invincible…"

We're not listening to one another each of us speaking at the same time, trying to be louder than the other.

"I was with my gun, I had my vest…"

"Maybe if you weren't hung over from earlier…"

"I'm not hung over, sorry for doing my job and actually care!"

"Did you stop to think? Did you?"

"Yes I did, I followed the protocol! I asked them if it was ok…"

"Followed the protocol my ass…"

"…they said, as long as I stay behind them and follow the orders we were good…"

"Whatever, I don't even know why I bother arguing with you….you're reckless…careless…"

"I'm not arguing…"

"You're…you're…"

"You're the one who came here..."

"So fucking stubborn, you're like a child…"

"… with your reproaches when I didn't do anything wrong…"

"…You're infuriating..."

"…that's the pot calling the kettle black I mean…"

Whatever words were about to pass my lips just vanish as she pushes me against the locker with force and crashes her mouth on mine. She bites my bottom lips and my hands snake on her waist to bring her body closer. She slides her hand in my hair and pulls my head to expose the flesh of my skin. She alternates between kissing my lips and nibbling on my neck. My hands take lives on their own and start to run up and down her waist, pulling her always closer to me.

She sucks roughly on my neck on the soft spot below my ear, our legs are tangle in a tight friction. One of her hand moves to the button of my pants, unsnapping them as she's biting my neck roughly. She draws her nail up and down my stomach and a moan bubbles up from my throat, as my body is asking for more. She slides her hand further down, moving her mouth to my clavicle and biting down on it. I bring her mouth back to my lip for a feverish kiss.

By some miracle the few active synapses I got left fire, making me come to my senses. I stop grab her hand as she reaches her goal and break our kiss.

"Work," is all I mutter.

"Fuck work," she counters pushing her hand down again, but I hold it and take it out of my pants. The missing heat registers through her haze. "What?...no?" she pushes into me even harder escaping my grip for a second but I catch her sneaky hand again.

"Cath, stop," I order firmly and push her away.

She finally steps back, breathing heavily, she turns her head to the side and I follow her gaze just in time to see the door of the locker room shutting.

Oh hell no, you got to be kidding.

"Shit…who was there?" she asks and moves quickly to the door to look in every direction. She comes back and sits on a bench. "Did you see who it was?"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I curse.

"Look, it's not the end of the world," she says as she stands to straighten her clothes.

"Not the end of the world?" I repeat angrily. "This is…grrr…fuck it!"

"This is what?" she asks sharply. "What Sara?"

"Now everyone is going to run their mouth about it…"

"About what?"

"Don't you fucking play dumb, not right now Willows!"

"It's no big deal Sara," she chuckles.

"Of course for you it's no big deal…" I spit.

Lightening of anger flashes through her eyes. "Because for everybody I'm already a known slut, so one more lousy rumor on my back won't make a difference so why the fuck should I care, is that it?"

I don't answer.

"Since I'm so cheap, I might as well go all the way, do you want to go back to my place or yours?" she asks angrily, obviously aiming to provoke me.

"Fuck you Willows!" I spit before storming out of the locker room, even more pumped up than I was going in.

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**I know it doesn't look like that but I _am_ working my other story...Mojo is just being a little difficult...**

**Thanks for reading**


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy New Year everybody! Thank you for your kind reviews, you rock!**

**Enjoy,**

**So ;)**

**ps: **scuby** thank you for giving me ideas :)**

wee idgie**, I'm sorry, but we won't know who or if someone was really in the locker, I leave it to your imagination.**

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Act 4: Catherine

Tough shift and long night, not to mention another odd episode with Sara. Speaking of which, I'm looking for her and I think Greg might have been daydreaming again. I look at the address I wrote down and my surroundings again, yep I'm at the right place, but I think it might have been a mistake. I swear if Greg was joking it was of really bad taste, he better hopes that I find Sara inside that place or I will kill him.

I walk in the building and to my surprise I see Sara sitting at the bar, sipping her glass and enjoying her surrounding. I order a ginger ale and walk to her.

"So what's a woman like doing in a place like this," I say and sit down on the stool next to her.

She looks at me blankly with a smirk on her face. "Wow, I thought that line was long dead," she chuckles.

"I'm old…that's all I've got to work with, so cut me some slack," I come back. We laugh softly and then she takes a sip of her drink. "Can I get you something?"

I rise my glass. "I'm good thank you."

"Oh sorry, I didn't see you already had one. So…" she sighs. "What bring you here?"

"I figured you'd be here," she eyes me suspiciously. "Well…Greg figured you'd be here," I admit and she smirks. "I have to admit," I start while looking at the stage. "…it was a bit of a revelation that after a rough night you come to one of the most upscale strip club in Vegas."

"This place is nice," she shrugs.

"I know it is…nothing like the place I worked in."

She closes her eyes and shakes her head "Nope…funny, 'cause I just can't picture you as a stripper."

I turn back toward her "You've tried picturing me as a stripper?"

"I just did."

I smirk. "How far did you get?"

"Nowhere, it just doesn't fit…can't picture you as a stripper."

"I was very good…"

"I'll have to trust your word," she shrugs again.

I let silence settling between us and watch around as dancers make their routine. "Do you watch when you come here or do you ever get a lap dance?"

"I never stay long…just long enough to…" she trails off and clears her throat before taking another sip. "I never stay long."

"Long enough to what?" I smile, not letting her off the hook.

She clears her throat again. "Some girls finish their shift at this time…I kind of stay just long enough to have a drink or two with anyone who catches my attention."

I raise an eyebrow. "You ever take one of them home?"

She chuckles and looks at me as if to say 'duh'. "That's kind of the point you know."

Some unpleasant feeling mingle with unexplainable anger rise inside me, and I'm bother with myself for this lack of control over my feelings.

"You see that red head on the far right?" she asks me in a hushed tone. I nod, taking a look in the direction she indicates me. I see a young woman – between 25 and 30 years old. I'm about to ask Sara why she pointed her to me when she keeps on. "I think she fancies me," she says clearing her throat.

Wow okay.

"I think I'm going to take you up on that drink offer," I reply trying to fight the sudden dizziness.

"Bart, two more please," she orders before turning her attention to the red head who's smiling at her. "I'm going to wait a little while longer before going on and talk to her," she adds.

I drain my glass in one go feeling the heat burning my throat and spreading lower. I make sign to the bartender to refill my glass. "So you're going to taker her home?"

"Hopefully," she nods and glances to the woman quickly. "If the way she keeps looking at me is of any indication I'd say she's at least a bit interested in having a drink with me."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" she asks confused.

"Why would you take her home?"

"Well looking at her I'm sure she's one to debate about physic theories and new forensic methods," she rolls her eyes. "To get to know her a little and have fun Catherine."

I drain my second glass in one big gulp fuelling the fire already raging in me. I couldn't say what forces me to do my next move but I reach out and run my fingers through Sara's hair, then I turn a bit so I can make eye contact with the red head before focusing on Sara again and running my fingers down her arms.

"What are you doing?" Sara asks me clearly puzzled with a movement of recoil.

"Nothing," I frown innocently. I lean in to her and whisper in her ear. "I'm going to the ladies' room…don't go anywhere," I let my fingers trail up her arm to her shoulder as I walk away. I barely see her sending me another 'what the hell look'.

On my way to the restroom I make sure to keep the eye contact with the red head.

Once in the restroom I watch at myself into the mirror. I'm very aware of all the wrinkles on my face, of the dark circles under my eyes and all my flaws. "Don't start Willows," I mumble angrily to myself. "You look good, you're attractive and intelligent…you own the world," I keep mumbling looking at my reflection with determination. "You own the world…you own the world," I repeat again.

I hold my head up high and exit the room with more confidence than before. I walk back to Sara feeling some looks on me. Sara jumps a bit as I put my hand on the small of her back before sliding back on my stool and ordering another drink.

She takes a deep breath and finishes her drink. "Okay, I'm going to talk to her, wish me luck."

I chuckle bitterly and drain my new drink. "I think you've already ran out of it."

"What?" she frowns.

I nod in direction of the red head and we see her leave with a man. Sara's jaw drops and she looks at lost "Damn," she mutters.

"Well, maybe someone else will catch your eyes…"

"I should have gone talk to her earlier," she says not even listening to me.

"There's no guarantee she'd have been into you."

"Oh please Cath. I can read body language and signs. Even if there was no guarantee I'd have taken her home I know had her attention for at the very least share a drink, and then…wait a minute," she stops her rant and sends me an angry look. "You spoil my game," she accuses me.

"Me?"

"Yes, don't play innocent! Your weird behaviour before going to the bathroom…"

"I can't help if I had to use the restroom Sara."

"You acted to make her believe that you and I….damn what's wrong with you? That was not cool Cath, you spoiled my day," she says before standing and putting some bills on the bar with harsh gestures. "I'm going home."

I grab her arm as she passes me.

"What?" she snaps.

"Take me home…"

She yanks her arm out of my grip. "Call a cab," her reply feels like a slap on my face. I feel like one of those cheap girls you wouldn't give the time of the day. "I have other plans," she adds through her teeth. "Since you ruined the one I had here."

"Damn it," I stand. "I'm standing right in front of you and you want a stripper for a romp in the bed?" I finally let out.

She chuckles bitterly. "So that's what it's all about? I was clear about it. This is not happening," her finger waves between us.

"Oh yeah? What about the locker room?"

"What about it?"

"The kiss…my hand in your pants…you weren't objecting to that."

"So? I'm human, surprise. It was pleasant, I grant you that, but that's all it was."

"Pleasant?" she's so full of shit. I lean into her ear. "You were soaked…I didn't know a woman could get that wet…"

"My body reacted to your touch, big freaking deal. You'd think by now you'd know that human body responds to stimuli, nothing more, nothing less."

"So I was simply a stimuli? If we go back to your place and I sit you down a chair, start to strip…rub against you…you'd be averse to that?"

"Read my lips, this is not happening," she growls. "Why can't you just let go? If you want someone, go ahead and find someone, that's easy, I'm sure some people would kill to be in your bed."

"You know, you're," I start to reply with anger, but as I take a step toward her alcohol takes its full effect and I'm suddenly unsteady on my feet. "Whoa…" I put a hand on Sara's shoulder in order to keep my balance. I can feel her holding me up with reluctance.

"Sit down."

"No, I'm fine..."

"Bart, can I have some water please?" she asks as she's backing me on a stool. I let go of her not wanting to be a burden, still refusing to sit down. "Don't be stupid, sit down," she says firmly. "Did you eat today?" her voice is softer.

"Hum…I think I did…"

"You think?" she hands me the glass of water.

Last thing I remember is having breakfast with Lindsey, which means it was yesterday. Damn this job and its ability to make you forget about the simplest things.

Sara sighs again. "Come on I'm taking you to have a bite, then I'll take you home."

I don't protest knowing that this is probably the best to do. I stand, grabbing her arm immediately for support. She passes one arm around my waist and we make our exit at a slow pace.

"You should know better than to drink with an empty stomach," she says.

"I started with ginger ale, I hadn't planned on drinking."

"Sorry, but then again I didn't know you hadn't eaten."

"It's okay. I should have known better but then you…" I shake my head not finishing my thought. "Look, you don't have to take me for food, if you'll just run me home…"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I was stupid and now I'm ridiculous, anything else?" I ask sharply in spite of my state.

"Can we not fight right now?" she stops moving. She takes a deep breath before speaking again. "I'll take you eat first and then I'll take you home," her tone doesn't leave room for argument. She opens the passenger door. "Get in."

She drives us silently to a diner not far from the place we were moments ago.

All the way there I berated myself for being so stupid. I was just suppose to go there and see if Sara was alright, and here I am drunk and unable to drive myself home just because…because…all this is Sara's fault, that's all I know.

Damn you, Sidle.

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****

**Again, Happy New Year 2009, I wish you all the best, health and love on top of it. Hope everything you wish for will come true. Cheers everyone!**

Bonne Année et Meilleurs Voeux 2009!

**Thank you for reading**


	5. Chapter 5

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**Act 5: Sara**

I stop the car in front of a dinner that is familiar to me, I cut the ignition, exit the car and make my way around to open the door for Catherine.

She's feeling slightly better to at least walk on her own, but I stay at a reasonable distance in case she'd have a dizzy spell. I hold the door open for her and once inside she letme take the lead again. I take us to my usual booth and we seat down. The waiter comes to us as soon as he sees us.

"What's up Sar?" he greets me with a bright smile before leaning in and kissing my cheek.

"Hey, Dewey. I'm good thanks, what about you?"

"Same here."

"How's your shift?"

"Slow, for once."

"What are you watching then?" I ask, knowing that on days like these he watches old movies.

"All about Eve," he chuckles.

"Again?"

"Hey, you know me, I'm a sucker for Bette Davis," he bites his bottom lip in awe and I just giggle shaking my head in response.

"Oh by the way, this is Catherine Willows," I remember that I'm not alone.

"Your co-worker right?" he smiles and offers his hand to Catherine. "I'm Dewey, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Catherine shakes his hand. "Nice to meet you too."

"So, ladies, what can I get you?"

I look at Catherine so she can order first. "I'll have coffee and…pancakes, please."

"Sara?"

"The usual please."

"Coming right up."

And with that he leaves our table.

"You come here often?"

"It's a cool place," I reply nodding.

"How come he knew we worked together?" she asks with a smile. "I take it you talk about me."

"I talk about work," I correct her. "Plus, with Nick you're the only one who never came to have breakfast here with me, well now Nick's the only one."

"I see," her tone is flatter and her smile is gone.

Dewey comes back with our plates before going back to his movie. Catherine contemplates my plate and raises an eyebrow.

"You're eating eggs? I thought you did the whole veggie thing."

"I am a vegetarian, not a vegan, and I have my moments with meat."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"And here I was thinking that you were strictly against anything that had a face," she feigns disappointment.

"You learn something new about me everyday."

She hums in agreement. "So…do you normally pick up redheads?"

I sigh heavily. "Does it matters?"

"It was just a question Sar... no need to be defensive."

"I don't have the preference whatsoever to be honest. There's something that can catch my eyes in everybody, I just have to look close," she shrugs. "I'm sorry for being harsh earlier."

She sips her coffee. "It's okay," she dismisses my apology yet I don't feel any better for my behaviour.

"I was just upset. I don't like being played like you did," I explain. "Unless I play along that is."

"Are you saying you didn't know what I was doing?" she chuckles.

"Not on the moment."

"You accused me of using my sexuality before," she states. No matter how much time passed, how closer we got to one another and how many times we made amend to one another, some of our remarks are still lingering over our heads to this day.

"I guess tonight was a proof of that theory."

"Can we just be honest for a moment, Sara?"

"I've been nothing but honest with you," I reply.

"Okay…does that mean you think I've been dishonest with you?"

Here we go again for the tongue twister. Why she always does that is beyond me.

"Why do you have to over analyse and twist everything I say? I'm not speaking with innuendos here. So stop thinking that I mean something else when I say something."

She doesn't answer and just cups her mug with both her hands. She looks outside for a moment, watching the cars passing by before turning her attention back to me. "Are you attracted to me at all? Or…are you going to stick with the line that you were just responding to a stimulus?"

"You're an attractive woman Cath," I sigh. "Here, you have it, happy?"

"I know I'm attractive. The question is, are_ you_ attracted to _me_."

I can't help the low laugh escaping my throat. "Unbelievable. Are you always that much conceited?"

She sighs. "I'm attracted to you."

I raise my eyebrows before exhaling. This is the second time she told me something I didn't see coming. "Alright," I shrug a bit.

She leans back against the cushiony seat and watches the cars coming and going outside of the diner. I keep eating in silence, letting her getting lost in thoughts. She focuses on her pancakes just the time to take some bites, then she goes back to her contemplation.

"You're attractive Cath. I'm not denying it, just like that redhead earlier was attractive. But so what? What do you expect?

"Nothing, obviously, I expect nothing."

"You know, I don't understand how some of the boys' talks got to your head that much. Just because there's attraction doesn't mean it'll go further than this."

"You're right…what was I thinking."

"Seriously, we've been friend for long, and I didn't discover you were attractive yesterday, why would anything change? For some stupid bet?"

She just nods, she has un-Catherine like. She never stays silent, she always protests or argues. Right now it's like she was resigning herself to accept each of my words.

"About this morning, I'm extremely sorry for coming to your house, I was drunk and not in a clear state of mind."

She nods and marks a bit before speaking. "I'm not sorry for today in the locker room."

I barely nod. I notice that she just keeps pushing her food around her plate. "I've lost my appetite," she states as if she could read my mind.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"You can finish your food first."

I take a few more bites and drain my mug of coffee before pushing my plate away. I reach in my pocket as I see Catherine rummaging through her purse. "Don't, I got it"

"No," she throws some bills on the table. "It's the least I can do."

"Thank you," I don't argue.

We walk to the door but I stay at the bar. "Dewey?"

He appears in seconds. "You need anything?"

"No actually we're leaving, thanks for everything."

"Sure."

I motion him to come closer with my finger and put a bill on the chest pocket of his shirt. "Have a nice day," I wink at him.

"Thanks Sara, you too. Take care and see you soon," he nods with a smile as we walk out. "Goodbye Catherine."

Catherine only raises her hand and exits the diner.

The drive back to Catherine's place is almost completely silent except for the radio playing softly in the background. When I park in her driveway, I exit the car first and open her door once again. She steps out of the car, I close the door and lock the car. She seems to be steadier than earlier, but I still walk with her to her front door just in case she'd have a dizzy spell.

She unlocks her door and turns to me before opening it. "Do you want to come in?"

"Do you want me to come in?" I return her question.

"Only if you want to."

"I think could use some real coffee, the one at the diner left to be desired."

She opens the door and invites me in. I step in the entrance and hear her lock the door behind us.

For a second I wonder what I'm doing here. I should be having a nice time with some woman I'm trying to know and do crazy things. I mean now I know Catherine's fine so I should go back to whatever I had planned to do before. Yet I'm here, why? I don't have any clue.

Damn you Willows, for making me act out of character.

Damn you Willows.

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	6. Chapter 6

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**Act 6: Catherine**

"I'm going to change into something more comfortable, you know where everything is," I state before disappearing in my room. I quickly change my work clothes for yoga pants and a clear blue top. I clean my make up and tie my hair in a ponytail. When I come back in the kitchen Sara hands me a mug of fresh coffee.

"There you go," she says.

I hop up the counter and take the mug, letting its warmth filling my hands. "Do you want something in your coffee?" I ask her.

"No I'm good, thank you."

Silence settles between us.

"How do you feel?" she asks

"Better, much better thank you," I replies. I still feel a bit nauseous but compared to earlier it's nothing. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Do you do that often?"

"What?"

"Picking up young things at bars," I elaborate.

She sighs heavily obviously not happy with the topic of conversation. "I don't know, three maybe four times a month."

"Why?"

"Why what?" she frowns.

"Why do you feel the need to pick them up?"

"I go out of work after a long shift and I just feel like trying to connect with somebody, step outside of my life and discover someone else's. Sometimes I meet very interesting people," she simply says. "I know that your family life makes it more difficult for you to go out to do that, but don't tell me you forget about it."

"My connections happen after dinner usually…not just a few drinks…"

"And that makes them better, right?" she replies sharply.

"No, it doesn't make them better, Sar…it just...I don't know, at least I make more conversation than your place or mine," I shrug.

"And I don't according to you?"

"Do you? Do you get to know them? Do you know if they sleep around – which they obviously do…Do you know anything about them other than the fact that they're willing to either fuck you or be fucked by you?"

Once again my anger spikes up for a reason I can't explain, or rather don't want to explore.

"And who are you to judge them or me for that matter? Do you know them?" she snaps. "Oh I see, you were a stripper so you're talking by experience is that it?"

Now that was low.

"Who's judging, now?" I ask. I get down of the counter and walk to the sink, I empty the mug angrily in it. I sigh with frustration, hitting my palms on the edge of the sink. I turn around and lean against the sink and cross my arms on my chest.

"I guess I should go," she says, standing up.

"Yeah…I guess you should."

"I'll see you at work then."

"Not for the two next days, I took them off."

"Okay then," she shrugs.

Her passivity exasperates me.

"I'm sorry I kept you so long…I'm sure you're going to want to hit some other bar and troll for a quick fuck."

She chuckles bitterly. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response I really don't know what's got to you lately I hope those two days off will help you to get your rationality back," she shakes her head.

"I'm perfectly rational."

"Sure you are…first you're propositioning me for some bet, then you ruin my night for a reason I haven't found yet…you're acting off character," she states with anger.

"According to you, because I can assure you I'm acting perfectly within character. It was you who accused me of using my sexuality to get what I wanted once before."

"Oh and so you decided to prove that I was right? This is ridiculous," she snorts, walking to the door, but I follow her

"You're so fucking infuriating," I spit.

"Why is that? Because I don't play along your fucking games?"

"Because I'm right here in front of you...willing...and might I add...ready…but you think that some woman in a bar is a better choice..." I finally confess with rage. This has been burning my chest for far too long. I do realise – though a little too late, that I probably let on much more than I wanted. For some reason, she has this ability to make me weak willed and exposed, she's the only one who manages to sneak through all my sophisticated defense mechanisms.

"All because you slept with a friend years ago and it didn't work… why is that sex can be just sex with a stranger, but it can't be with a friend hmmm....why?" I add trying to erase my vulnerability from seconds ago.

"I can't believe we're still on this!" she says in exasperation.

"Well believe it Sara. I'm not going to buy the stimulus crap. Give me one good reason for your resistance."

She chuckles bitterly. "Maybe I just don't want to sleep with you," she replies sharply. She chuckles bitterly. "Yeah, maybe that's just it, I don't want to sleep with you."

I feel like an angry fist had just landed in my gut, stealing all oxygen from me. I open my mouth to speak but close it again, I repeat the same action several times but, I'm brain dead and can't seem to come back with something.

"What?" I blink. "Run that one by me again?"

She has this subtle smirk, her mean smirk, the one saying she's happy her barb hurt, and hurt deep.

"If you weren't so conceited, maybe you'd see that not everybody wants to get in your pants," she adds with despise.

An all too familiar pain, like a freezing hand is slowly gripping my heart and soul, and crushing everything. Sizzling hurt is invading me and suddenly I feel like I was being bled dry

"How could…why wouldn't…" the lump in my throat forbids me to speak any further. I sigh and instinctively hold my head up high, forcing myself to put my neutral mask on. I sigh and turn around, walking to my bedroom as fast as I can without actually running. "Let yourself out," I shout over my shoulder before slamming the door of my room shut.

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not…

I'm sitting on my bed, my legs are moving nervously and I'm slightly rocking myself. I'm trying to gain the control of my breathing back. My eyes are burning and the tears are begging to be shed but I close my eyes and shake my head furiously.

The last person who hurt me that bad was Eddie – that was years ago and since that day I've swore myself I'd never let that happen again.

Damn you Sidle!

I stand and look at the full length mirror. I shed my clothes and stand there in my birthday suit. My gaze is frozen on my face first, my eyes are probably the only thing I got left to be proud about, even if when you look at it closely some of the sparkle that used to be shining in them is gone – I guess time doesn't spare anything. Hesitantly my eyes scrutinize my face spotting with an absolute clarity the traces left by the time.

I turn my head away to compose myself again. Once again face my reflection, holding my head up with a pride I don't feel. I take a deep breath and finally let my eyes look down at my body.

My god…

I suck in my stomach and pull my shoulders back in a vain attempt to make my breasts stand out. This is pathetic, I am pathetic. I take back my natural stand and force myself to face that image that I hate so much. This is me, the real me, a heap of flaws and scars of the time.

I snort with despise before turning away from the mirror and putting my pants back on. I can feel the hot trail left by the single tear going down my face. "Now I see why she doesn't want me," I mutter to myself picking my shirt from the floor.

That thought makes me angry at myself beyond belief. I let my shirt fall on the floor as I grab the first thing I see on my dresser and throw it against the mirror which shatters into pieces.

Fuck you Sidle.

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	7. Chapter 7

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**Act 7: Sara**

_Go apologize to her._

No.

_Don't be a jerk and go apologize!_

No.

_I swear Sidle…_

But she…

_That was uncalled for! You hurt her, just to hurt her, she's your friend damn it!_

It's only right, she hurt me in the first place.

_Stop being an infant and go apologize!_

I'm still debating with myself whether or not I should go, taking three steps toward the door only to turn around and taking three steps toward the corridor. I'm about to leave her house for good when I hear a loud crash followed by Catherine's curses.

I rush to her bedroom and open the door wide without knocking, which turns out to be a mistake because she isn't decent. She's kneeling down topless, picking up pieces of what used to be her full length mirror…topless.

Holy…

I never doubted that Cath had a great body, but I never bargained for seeing that much of her, especially under these circumstances.

As soon as she sees me she covers herself with her hands. I turn my head away, feeling heat coloring my cheeks.

"Sorry," I mumble with embarrassment.

"Fuck! Ouch…" I hear her curse in pain and look at her again I see her grabbing her shirt and putting it on quickly before staring at her bloody hands. She looks at me with a mix of anger and surprise. "I thought…" she walks to her bathroom. "I thought you had left."

"I was about to when I heard the glass broke."

"Would you, uh, go in Lindsey's bathroom and find some band aids please?"

"Sure," I reply before doing what I'm told. I come back two minutes later with two boxes. "Alright, I have a big dilemma," I state.

"Oh? What is that?" she asks looking at me from her bathroom.

"SpongeBob or Power Puff Girls?" I put on my best serious face.

She frowns and pouts a bit. "Aww… no Scooby-Doo?" she looks at me with a cute puppy expression.

I sigh in a dramatic way. "I'm afraid not…unless you want me to go check again."

"Nah, that's fine…SpongeBob it is," she chuckles.

I come in the bathroom and silently check her hands to see if any piece of mirror is in her wounds. She only has superficial cuts, after cleaning them I put a band aid on each one of them.

I'm about to go put the band aids where I found them when a blood stain attracts my attention. I look away quickly. "You…uh…cut yourself," I stutter.

"Yeah I know you just stitched me up," she frowns not understanding my embarrassment.

"No, I meant…" I point out her shirt.

She looks down and sees blood sipping through it at the level of her breasts. "Damn it!"

"We should clean this," I state. She looks at me uncertainly. "I'll be gentle."

She chuckles nervously, clearly not being at ease. "Sar…"

"You prefer that I leave you alone to do it?" I ask her gently.

"You know it's kind of ironic, because I've been trying to get you in my bed and fail, and now you want to see me topless?"

"Well…I kind of did, a few minutes ago," I deadpan, making her blush furiously. "You can hold a towel while I take care of the wounds."

She takes a deep breath "Okay," she clears her throat looking at her feet. "Alright, hum…all the first aid stuff is in Lindsey's bathroom though, since she's usually the one requiring first aid."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

I take everything I might need to take care of Catherine's wound and go back to her with my hands full.

"Jesus Sara, do you think you're performing surgery?"

"I just like to be thorough," I simply answer.

"You got gloves?"

"Always when blood's involved," I wink at her.

I close the distance between us, standing in front of her. She's looking everywhere but at me.

She clears her throat. "So…shall I call you nurse or doctor?" she jokes nervously.

"Well…" I smirk.

She smiles and shakes her head lightly. "Let's get on with it then…"

"Ok," I put my gloves on and flex my hands twice until I feel at ease with my gloves. "Could you…" I trail off but she understands me. She lowers the towel revealing the birth of her breasts, where three cuts are showing. I move my hands to her chest.

She flinches. "I haven't touched you yet."

"But it's going to hurt," she says.

"I'll be gentle," I swear and she nods. I touch her skin delicately and then reach to take a cotton ball which I damp it with alcohol. "It's going to sting," I warn her before starting to clean her wound, and she hisses. "Sorry."

"That doesn't sting, it burns," she grits her teeth. "No wonder Lindsey cries like a baby when I fix her up."

I chuckle but stay focus. "Cath, those look deep," I state softly.

"No scars please," she pleads.

"You'll have most likely faint lines," I reply staring at her wound.

"Great," she sighs and frowns. "Now I'll never be able to take my shirt off."

"Oh come on," I roll my eyes.

"Seriously, Sara, look at me," she asks. I look at her in the eyes and then look away. "See? You can't even look at me except in a clinical way."

I decide to ignore her comment and focus again on her wound, I band it and then turn my attention to the other. "It's going to sting again."

"Okay."

I apply the cotton ball on her flesh and she jumps in pain. "Fuck!" she curses, the towel fell when she jerked away, her first instinct is to cover her breasts with her hands.

"Sorry," I mumble, looking away again.

She's looking at her feet and takes deep breaths. "Just hurry up, maybe it'll hurt less."

I nod and come closer to her again. Looking closer at the wound I understand why it hurt her, I can see tiny pieces of mirror stuck in her flesh. I look at the wound and then at her.

She frowns when she doesn't feel me taking care of her after a few seconds. "What?"

I focus on her wound again, feeling myself blushing furiously. "Youneedtotakeyourhandsoff…" I mumble.

"What did you say?"

I clear my throat and look at her again. "You need to...uh…take your hands off."

"What?!!" she exclaims.

"There's glass in the cut…and I need to…"

"But…if I move my hands…" she looks vulnerable and fragile.

"I'm a woman, I've seen breasts before," I attempt to joke.

She looks away, I can see her body slightly shaking. She moves both her hands away in an uncertain movement. She lets her hands dangling at her side and balls her fists.

"So…hum…you've seen any good movies lately?" she asks still looking away.

"Not really," I answer absentmindedly. I reach for my tweezers and try to think of the best way to extract the shards of glass.

I can feel her gaze on me, it's disturbing. It's like she was burning holes through me, like she could see me naked…like an odd caress from her eyes.

"So, you still won't tell me?" I ask her.

"Tell you what?" her voice is strained as I take out a piece of glass and put it away on a tissue I had placed on the edge of the sink.

"Tell me why you broke the mirror."

She shrugs and averts her eyes. "I was looking at it…" she tightens her jaw not to curse.

"I'm not sure to understand," I confess, scanning her wound with my eyes making sure I didn't leave any glass shards behind. "Sting alert," I motion the cotton ball I'm holding.

"I didn't like what I saw," she adds.

I turn my head toward her room and then shrug. "Yeah, the walls are a bit ugly," I joke. "You might think about changing the color someday."

She doesn't smile. "I meant my reflection," she elaborates.

I put butterflies on her wound and look at her. "Why?"

"Don't…" she shakes her head and looks at her chest. "You're done?"

"Yes."

"Thank you," she says hastily and looks for a shirt.

"Why?"

"It's not important," she put a shirt on but doesn't close it. My eyes slowly travel along her curves.

I never thought Catherine would be so insecure. I have to say the overconfidence she always displays kept me from ever thinking that she might have doubts about herself or actually not like herself. Her vulnerability is touching, and I feel like I was looking at her for the first time.

"You're beautiful," the words pass the barriers of my lips before I can even censure myself.

"No, I'm not," she replies firmly. She puts her hand to her stomach. "This used to be flat…and now…it's a little flabby," she moves her hands to her sides. "I have love handles! Love handles, Sara!" she says with a hint of desperation. "And these," she moves her hands back to her breasts. "Look at these…" she lifts them up a bit before letting them go. "They're saggy…they used to be so…so…pert," she looks away, not before I see tears ready to fall in her eyes.

"You are beautiful," I repeat honestly.

"Please, stop ok," this time she's a bit angry. She's fumbling with her buttons for her hands are shaking a little.

"I don't think beauty comes from perfection…the flaws…that's what makes beauty real and exceptional," I hook one finger under her chin and force her to look at me. "You are beautiful."

Our eyes lock and I feel like a bolt of lightening travelling through my whole body. I feel myself leaning in slowly, with a shaky breath. My heart starts to race in my chest and my lips are trembling. I can hear both our shallow breathing coming and going in unison. She doesn't move, but I can see her shivering. Our breaths mingle and become faster. Our lips barely brush one another, I can feel my flesh burning with anticipation, it's like her lips were already on mine.

My clarity returns before I decide to seal the kiss. I sigh and close my eyes, freezing myself in motion, and then step back. I look at her a see a flash of hurt crossing her eyes.

"I should go," I say taking my gloves off and starting to clean everything.

I take everything back where I found it and put the used cotton balls and everything that I used to clean her wounds in the trash.

I'm over the kitchen sink cleaning my hands, scrubbing them with soap and energy. Once I'm done I dry them with clean kitchen roll. I'm startled when I turn around and find Catherine leaning silently against her counter.

"You never asked me why," she states, looking at me dead in the eyes.

I stare back and try to connect the dots but my mind doesn't come back with anything. "Asked you why what?"

"Why I did what I did at the bar."

I nod. "Why?"

"You wanted her…and you didn't want me," she chuckles bitterly. "It drove me nuts that a stranger could have that effect on you…while I don't even draw so much as a simple response from you," she snorts. "I've had my fair share of bad decisions, and this idea was probably the top…to have you rejecting me like you did, not once but several times…it hurt," she looks away.

"I used to be like that girl, I used to be the one to have the attention, to be the one people would want to connect with. Now I'm invisible, but you know what? It hurt tenfold to be invisible to you."

I smirk and shake my head, gritting my teeth not to let my anger pour. "You're unbelievable you know that?" I laugh harshly.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't laugh at me right now," she replies upset.

"You want to talk about being hurt?" I ask rhetorically. "I've been there for quite some time…and yet you never saw me…Do you have any idea of how much it hurts to have you looking at me only for some bet?....To have you coming to my face with that bet basically ranked me even lower than all the lousy sleazebag you had the misfortune to date…" I walk closer to her a lean in a bit. "Do you know how much it hurts to know that it's all I'm worth to you?"

We stand there staring at each other, time seems to have stopped. She breaks the eye contact probably not able to stand my anger and hurt anymore so I pass her by without another word.

I'm done with this. I hate that I let myself be vulnerable and admit that she had more effect on me than she can imagine.

Fuck you Willows for being so oblivious.

Fuck you.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Huge apology everyone...i made a change of chap and got it all wrong...that is why I shall not update at almost 4 am...sorry**

**Hey everybody, I know it's been a long while since I've been around, but exams at the University, work and life seemed somehow top priority...Anyway, thank you for the feedback you are awesome, and if mojo comes back I should be updating soon.**

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**Act 8: Catherine**

I blink several time and try to control my breathing again – difficult task considering that my heart is racing unsteadily. My brain is still fumbling with the new information it received but I don't have time to wrap my mind around it all as I realize that Sara is about to leave. I walk to her before she reaches the door.

"Sara, wait," I call her.

"Cath…"

"Stay," I ask her on an impulse.

She sighs. "I'm tired Cath…I just…I just want to get some rest," she struggles. Her anger from two minutes ago seems to have vanished to give place to a myriad of emotions.

"Please stay…sleep with me…"

"Catherine…"

"No…sleep, no sex, just…I don't think we should part on this…I… you're fit to drive anyway…so stay…I have a couch…a spare room…and my bed…just…please stay… please…" I plead.

She obviously struggles with herself in order to decide what should be her course of action. As far as I'm concerned there's too much going for me to let her go, we've just opened a can of worms. But I also think that a good night of sleep will benefit the both of us and I know for sure that if I let her go now, we might never talk about what has just been said.

She sighs while looking at her shoes before looking at me again. "Alright."

I lead her to the bathroom and hand her spare clothes and leave her to change.

She enters my bedroom with uncertainty, wearing a wide t-shirt and large pants. We lie down far away from one another without a word. For the next hour our bodies slowly migrate toward one another until I'm bold enough to rest my head on her shoulder and she holds me loosely. It's funny because it's not the first time we sleep over together, but at the same time it feels like it was.

I drift into sleep with a numb mind and emotionally exhausted.

I wake up with a little headache, I slept like a baby and I think I owe it to the presence of Sara…

…who isn't there anymore.

Great.

I sit up and squint my eyes at the light. I bury my face in my hands. I should have known that Sara was a 'flight risk. I guess I should feel lucky that I managed to make her stay the night in the first place.

Earlier I found out that I ruined chances I didn't even know I had before, and that things won't ever be simple between us. I know that I screwed things up with that bet – even though it wasn't my idea. What's ironic is that I didn't want it so bad just because she was so opposed to the idea, no the reason I wanted it so bad is because I used the bet as the little push I needed to have the guts to ask her to give me one shot. But all this doesn't matter anymore anyway.

I sigh heavily and stretch out before standing up. I put my dressing gown over my sleeping clothes. I drag myself to the kitchen I and go to the sink to fill the coffee pot and look through the window when I do so.

Well, I'll be damn.

There she is. Sara is sitting in her car which is still parked in the driveway. I go to my bedroom to take my cell and come back to the kitchen window, and Sara hasn't moved one bit.

I call her and wait for her to answer. She picks up her phone without looking at it. _"Sidle,"_ she says flatly.

"So this is your MO? Sleep with a woman and then hot foot it out of her place before she wakes up?" I say with a small smile.

She turns her head instantly toward the house and scans every window until she spots me. She shyly smiles _"Hey, Cath, good morning."_

"It would have been good if you weren't trying to escape sneakily," I reply. "And I have to tell you, you're doing this all wrong," I laugh lightly.

"_Doing what?"_ she frowns.

"Making your getaway…you're supposed to get farther than your car still parked in my driveway."

"_Right,"_ she chuckles. _"Now you know why I chase crimes and don't commit them,"_ she jokes. _"But for the record I wasn't trying to escape."_

"Uh-huh…"

"_I do have evidences that support my defence."_

"I don't know, all the evidence I need is that I woke up alone…with you nowhere to be found."

"_Let's look at the evidences pleading on my favour, shall we?"_ she rests her head against her seat, but even from where I am I can see the teasing smile on her face. _"My clothes are still in your room; my jacket and wallet are in your living room, and if I was trying to drive away at the very least I'd be seated on the driver seat, not the passenger one. And finally, I'm the kind to leave a note."_

"Hmmm…" I feign being in deep thought. "I suppose I can give you the benefice of the doubt, though I still have some questions."

"_Shoot."_

"You say you're the kind to leave a note but I didn't see any, why?"

"_I only leave a note when I'm called back in, otherwise I never leave without a proper goodbye."_

"I see, so I must be special, because I didn't have any note and not even a goodbye," I say with sarcasm

"_Again, I wasn't trying to leave," _she persists

"Then explain why you're in your car and not here with me."

"_I needed some time for myself,"_ she confesses. _"I need a quiet place to think," she adds. "I would have stayed in bed, but I gave up after an hour… because your snoring was disturbing,"_ she turns her head back to the window and smirks at me.

"Hey, I do not snore okay!"

"_Do too,"_ she chuckles.

"Whatever," I narrow my eyes at her and she sticks her tongue at me. "So what do you usually do with your conquests the morning after?" I ask out of the blue. "Get dress, share a coffee maybe and leave?" I keep my tone light not to start a fight.

She chuckles and shakes her head. _"First, I'll have you know that I don't necessarily need to dress up again, because we don't always wrinkle the sheets."_

"I don't get it…you said that you'd have 'fun'."

"_And I do, but in my book, there are also a lot of ways to have fun without having sex."_

"So you're telling me you bring girls home just to watch a movie?"

"_It happens, then we talk all night or go out again."_

"And don't have sex at all?"

"_I'm not saying I never have sex with them, just not always. We flirt sometimes, and generally speaking they leave in a good mood, having had a good time in my company."_

"I don't know if I believe that."

"_Believe what you want, I'm stating the truth."_

We stay silent for a little while.

"So…what did you need to think about?" I break the silence.

"_About everything that happened…it was kind of earth shattering to find out that you were a SpongeBob fan, that you snore when you sleep…and drool too,"_ she laughs.

"Oh I'm going to make you pay for that Sidle!"

"_I think I already did last night, I might be a little deaf from the chainsaw sound you kept making."_

"I swear Sidle…"

"_Oh but wait I'm not done. You hog the bed and tried several crocodile death rolls on me."_

"Crocodile what?"

"_Death rolls. You know, turning in every sense, all the while trying to choke me down…" _

Well, that would explain why nobody shared my bed in a long time. I want to be mad at Sara but I can't help smiling, not anymore than she's succeeding suppressing her giggles. I'll deny it at gunpoint but I do love it when she teases me.

"_I have a question…why were you dreaming about Greg when you had me in your bed?"_

I cringe and bury my face in my hand in order to hide the blush coloring my cheeks... someone please shoot me now.

"_Must have been quite some dream…I mean, you were asking your 'big bunny' to dance for you…I sure hope he had a complete bunny suit, not the playboy gear,"_ she shivers before laughing.

Damn me and my habit to speak while I'm sleeping.

So, I've been having this weird dream with Greg lately, and now…she knows…great.

"_Now, I must say I'm almost afraid of what's the next thing I'm going to find out," _she's smiling her big bright smile and I have to say I'm weak on my knees to see it and to know it's just for me. _"So, any other dirty little secrets in store?"_

I chuckle. "Actually there are two or three more."

"_Really?"_

"Yeah…"

"_Let's hear them then."_

We're looking at each other through the windows. "Number three would be that I'm a Harry Potter groupie."

"_Not bad,"_ she giggles.

"Number two, I still have Rufus."

"_Rufus?"_

"My teddy bear from when I was a kid."

"_Isn't that sweet,"_ she smiles fondly.

"And number one…well now that I think about it there are two things that rank number one."

"_Oh so we have not three but four dirty little secrets uh?"_

"I guess you could say that," I chuckle.

"_So what are the number ones?"_

"Number one would be that…" I'm interrupted by a loud growl. "Are you hiding some wild animal in your car?"

"_Eh…that would be my stomach…"_ she replies sheepishly.

"I see, well come back here I'll make us breakfast."

"_Cool, I'll be there in a minute."_

"Sidle, get your ass back in here right now," I say firmly but still on a joking tone.

"_Aren't we bossy when we're impatient now?"_ I just laugh in response and stick my tongue at her, she smiles and shakes her head. _"Alright."_

I snap my phone shut and take care of the coffee pot again. I see Sara exiting her car and walking back to the house before I turn around to take care of the breakfast. I hear the door being opened and shut almost noiselessly. Sara enters the kitchen side and goes straight to the fridge and retrieves the milk bottle to my great surprise. I look at her with puzzlement and she shrugs.

"I…uh…am a milkaholic."

I keep a straight face as much as I can. "It's okay, the first step is always to be able to admit it," I manage to let out before bursting into laughter.

We silently move around the kitchen, putting different things on the table. Then Sara leans against the counter as I make us some pancakes.

"About this bet…" she starts and I stiffen and turn around to face her.

I thought we had managed to go past that. I was even glad for it, seeing the damages it provoked. Of course it also made me realized a lot, but it is still the worst idea I've ever decided to go through with.

"It was a 24h offer only," I cut her short, hoping to definitively close the topic. I look at my watch. "Sorry, but you're 20 minutes too late."

She nods and looks away, apparently deep in thoughts.

"Good," she finally says after a moment.

"Is it?"

"Yeah, because now, I might ask you out…depending a few little things."

Did she just say what I think she said? Asking me out? Her words shake me to the core but I'm trying my best to stay cool. "And what those things would be?"

She takes a step toward me. "What are those two things ranking in number one position?"

I snort with a little smile feigning defeat. "I…am a Trekkie…" I confess. "I actually even have a Klingon mask, but it was a birthday gift and I never used it I swear," I add quickly. So Catherine Willows is geekier than one would think, yes science and science fiction do turn me on…but I don't tell that to anybody.

"Wow…that one is a shocker I have to admit," she chuckles. "I'm bracing myself for the second one."

I roll my eyes. I can't believe I'm telling her all those things, I never said it to anyone before.

"I am a Disney movies closet fan," I drop.

She takes another step toward me, her mouth open and her eyes narrowed, the gears in her head turning. "Wait a minute…so all those DVDs in your living room aren't Lindsey's, are they?"

"Busted…though I have to admit she's a great cover, and she provides me a good excuse to go see them in theatre."

She takes another step and there's barely a metre between us now. My breathing is heavier by the second, amazing what she can do to me without even trying. "Those are heavy stuff," she nods.

"And you're the only one to know them, so if you tell a soul, you won't even know what hit you," I warn her seriously.

"Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me," she replies just as seriously. "Anything else I should know?"

"No," I shake my head. "So?"

"So…I think I can live with that," she smiles and closes the distance so our bodies are touching. She hesitantly puts her hands on my waist.

"Not so fast butterfly, what about you? Anything else except your milk addiction?"

She thinks about it before answering "Ugh…I love the Smurfs…and Calvin & Hobbes…"

"That's quite a jump from the Smurfs to Calvin and his tiger," I chuckle.

"I know…" her arms circle my waist.

"What else?" I whisper, troubled by the feel of her body against mine.

"I cry like a baby watching cheesy movies."

"You? The tough Sara Sidle has a marshmallow heart…who knew?" I tease her.

"I prefer Ron to Harry," she adds quietly, leaning her face closer to mine, a quivering smile paints itself on my lips. They are tingling with anticipation.

She speaks again but it takes me a few seconds to register what she said. I pull my head back a little and tilt it. I narrow my eyes in question. "Did you just speak Klingon to me?"

She bobs her head with a smile in response. "I have…hum…some notions…"

"And here I thought I was a freak, you beat me on that one."

"Let's just say I had some time to spare," I raise an eyebrow. "Alright…there was a time I had a lot of time to spare," she admits and we both chuckles.

"Anything else?"

"Maybe two or three 'forbidden mixes' with food," she winces.

"I live with Lindsey's, so I think I can survive yours," she smiles that bright smile of hers and I feel my knees buckle. "Is that it?" she nods. I put my hands on her forearms and slowly run them up until I lock my hands behind her neck. "In that case, I won't tell if you don't."

"You got yourself a deal," she winks.

"Good."

We stare at each other and she leans in so our lips are barely brushing. I pull back a bit and lose myself in her eyes. "I don't want a one time thing, Sara," I tell her honestly.

"Excellent, because I want a real shot," she replies seriously.

She leans in again and I pull back one last time. "Don't you even think about any Klingon 'love' ritual…cause that's definitely not happening."

She laughs and shakes her head, then she rests her forehead against mine. "Anything else you want to know about me Mrs Willows?"

"Nah…a woman has to keep a little mystery."

She leans in but then stops in motion a few millimetres from my lips. I think that if she doesn't kiss me soon I'll explode "On second thought," she says pulling back. So close yet so far. She feigns a yawn. "I think I need some sleep since someone kept me up," she winks at me and walks off to my bedroom, leaving me here all work up for a kiss.

I shake my head and snort at her boldness. She's got to be kidding me. I go to my room once I've overcome my surprise when I open the door, she's lying with her eyes close. I climb in next to her.

"You're such a tease Sidle…if that was your way to get me back for the bet, you succeeded, now…you can't leave me without that kiss," I say.

She just stirs a bit and sighs deeply.

"Sara?" I call her. "Sara?"

After two long minutes, and judging by the regularity of her breathing, I conclude that she is actually sleeping. I chuckle…

Unbelievable.

I lie down next to her and think about how things turn out. This bet didn't turn out that bad in the end, and, I did end up with Sara in my bed…

I guess that now I have to wait and see where all this could go. One thing for sure, I'm excited by this new turn of events.

Damn you Sidle, for leaving me hanging though.

* * *

**Alright, I'm not a Trekkie, I'm a Jedi at heart, and I've learned that some consider that the term 'trekkie' should only apply to the fans of the original serie in which the Klingongs don't belong...though, and I'm saying that with all due respect, for Jedis, 'Trekkie' is a term applyable to all the 'non jedis'...that being said I'll stop the rambling, and I'm sorry if offended any trekkie out there. :)**

**Thanks for reading - and may the force be with you ;) **


	9. Chapter 9

**Alrighty, I know it's been four years but I don't like to leave things unfinished and Mojo decided now was the time to tackle this. The sequel of Shrink being a bit dark at the moment, I shall compensate with fluff in this one.**

**Enjoy**

**So ;)**

**ps:** Immi** shame on you for challenging me and lurring me into the land of butterflies and raibows.****  
**

* * *

**Act 9: Sara**

"I'm soaked and I need a hand because I'm getting nowhere by myself."

"I must say that when picturing you saying those words to me it's always sexier, now it's plain dirty not in a good way," Catherine remarks. "Not to say that I'm actually picturing you saying those words," she adds quickly with a light blush.

I glare at her and purse my lips not to grace her with a smile. "Right, guess I set myself up for that one," I shake my head. "Come and help me down there smarty pants."

"I'm not stepping in that bin."

"Why not?"

"There's plenty to do outside of it."

"You just don't want to get dirty," I narrow my head at her.

"Damn right," she nods firmly.

"Come on, help me and I'll make it up to you," I plead.

"How?"

"Breakfast and lunch are on me for two weeks."

"Hmm..." she thinks it through.

"You want to play tough I see, let's sweeten the deal, I'm taking you out for dinner, somewhere fancy."

"Wow, you are _that_ desperate, uh?" she chortles.

Truth to be told I don't so much need help now than I want an opportunity to ask her out without being too head on. I'm trying to keep the tone of our banter light, not wanting to appear like I was holding my breath, even though I am.

"You have no idea."

"Two weeks breakfast and lunch, and fancy dinner," she repeats.

"Yup."

"Deal."

I beam at her response.

We've been dancing around one another for the past month. She propositioned me after hearing the boys taking a bet and that led to 24 rather disastrous hours. However, it also revealed that we might have wanted a chance to explore something beyond friendship. There was an almost kiss and I slept twice in her bed, her in my arms, in a very short span.

I've wanted to ask her out on a date since but there was a lot to process during those 24 hours. I can't speak for the both of us, but I needed some time to think it through. Did I really want more? Was it a crazy idea? Did she want really want more or was it just a moment of weakness?

Needless to say there were many questions to be answered, pros and cons to be weighted. We engaged in this awkward dance where we obviously want more but are not sure that we're on the same wavelength. And if I'm honest the whole bet thing was still in the back of my mind, not that I think Catherine would be one to go to such length for a bet, but the sting of it all was still present and I guess I needed time to be sure that whatever may happen was not connected to some bet.

I now know that my desire to have a chance at something more with her override any fears I have. And if the shy flirting going on between us is any indication, I'm confident when I say that she wants it too. That being said I'm still me, and when it comes to ask someone I really like on a date, I'm nothing more than the clumsy, shy nerd I've always been.

Asking her out while I'm knee deep into in a bin stepping onto things I don't dare naming – ignorance is bliss in this case – is not exactly how I envisioned things, but considering that it worked – kind of – I'm not going to complain. Alright, so I didn't call it a date, but I'll act as if it's one, no pressure or anything.

Hours into the bin, we did find body parts so it wasn't vain but disgusting nonetheless, several showers later – lemons be blessed – we are finally reaching the end of the shift. Hoping that my chance hasn't turned I decide to start my end of the deal right now.

We are all in the locker room, chatting about our respective shifts, having a breather sharing more than welcome laughter. I'm dragging on to gather my things and soon Catherine and I are the only one left in the room, which was my objective.

I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "So… are you going to pick up Lindsey?"

"Hmm no, not today, she stayed at my mother's. The time for me to get there and get her to school she'll be late, so I'll pick her up at the end of her day."

I stand and close my locker. With my backpack hanging on one should, me holding on the strap and shifting my weight from one foot to another, mentally reminding myself to be cool, it dawns on me that I might have stepped back into high school – not that I ever was the cool kid back then.

"So hum…" oh yeah real smooth, Sidle. "Right," I shake my head a bit. "I seem to recall that I owe you breakfast, are you up for it?" that's not too bad, all things considered.

She sends me a dazzling smile. "Sure."

"Cool," I even manage not to sound like a teenage boy breaking his voice, and not to jump up and down like a lunatic. That has to be two brownie points.

"I'll wait for you in the parking lot," she smiles while biting her lower lips and winks at me before leaving the locker room.

Oh.

So that's my stomach making a back flip.

I sigh and I hang my head once I'm alone. It's safe to say that I'm screwed if this is the reaction I get with a simple smile.

I shake my head but can't help the grin stretching on my lips.

Oh well.

Fuck.

* * *

**I shalle return with more in two days.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Two days later, I'm back with an update, as promised.**

**Enjoy,**

**So ;)**

**Ps: **Immi**, thank you as always for your input.**

* * *

**Act 10: Catherine**

"Seriously?" I laugh.

"Absolutely," Sara answers firmly.

"But she's a cartoon!" I point out with a big smile.

Sara and I are sharing breakfast together. She offered to invite me to breakfast and lunch for two weeks in return for my help on a scene; sure I had to work in a bin for a few hours but objectively I'm the winner in this story. I get to spend exclusive time with her, something I've come to appreciate greatly.

Sara has made a point to take me somewhere new each time, thus making our special time very special. It's funny how one can live in the same town for years and yet not know that many things about it, we tend to take habits and like the comfort they offer, but we forget to be spontaneous and go where we've never been, taste new things. Sara made me realized that there were still a lot of things I didn't know about Vegas.

Hanging around with her outside of work on a regular basis is awesome. I'm learning things about her, for instance I've found out that she's really lay back as a person, and even when things were good between us at work she was never completely relaxed because it's work and instinctively she always has her guard up; she's goofy and a bit dorky; she can be extremely confident talking about science or anything that has her interest, and then be adorably shy when it comes to interaction with people.

She has included Linds in three of those breakfasts, because she never said anything about them always being after work. She is not at ease with Lindsey, because I think she's afraid to do wrong; so she lets Linds take the lead, once a topic is found she follows without difficulties though.

I enjoy our discussions; they can be silly like they can be serious. And unlike what I've always thought, she is an open book, if she doesn't volunteer the information, she does answer any question I ask.

She is calm and has a tendency of interiorising her emotions whereas I'm feisty and let my emotions drive me through life; this is the main difference between us. It is surprising because after spending so much time on each other's throat I could have never guessed that we had so many common grounds.

"I know, but it's the point of a fantasy," she replies.

"Alright, that's a valid point," I pout with a nod.

"Of course it is. The essence of fantasies is that there are no limits whatsoever. It doesn't matter if they can never become a reality," she continues to argue. "As a matter of fact I don't think they should ever be translated into a reality because it ruins them."

"Wow, so you never try to enact your fantasies?" I frown.

"I can't do it with this one," she points out with a tilt of her head.

"Well duh, she's a cartoon so that's impossible."

"Which is what makes it perfect; she'll always be the ultimate fantasy of mine."

"Alright, let's back up a bit. You think that it's bad to try to translate your fantasies into a reality?" I ask before taking a sip of my orange juice.

"I'm not saying it's bad, but I think it's setting yourself for a constant disappointment."

"I disagree, I know I acted some of my fantasies and the results exceeded expectations."

"Yeah but how many times did it not live up to the fantasies? I mean, like I said, there are no limits and in your head you have control over everything. In reality? You don't have that much control and if the fantasy includes someone else, it's doomed from the start."

"Point taken. But you can't deny that if it doesn't live up to it in 90 per cent of the case it does in 10 per cent."

"I'm not denying it; I'm just saying that I prefer keeping them untouched. They're mine and I like to find solace in them when I need an escape or just to have a moment for myself," she shrugs.

"I don't necessarily agree, but I understand," I state. "Back on topic then, you're sticking your guns on this one?" I return to the original question which was 'if you could get a night with anyone, who would it be?'.

She beams. "Oh yeah," she nods eagerly. "Jessica Rabbit. She is, hands down, my ultimate fantasy as far as women go. I mean have you _seen_ her?" she chuckles, then bites her bottom lip. "She is the epitome of hot and sexy with a dash of dangerous and yet is soft and caring. I'm ready to play patty-cake with her any day."

I laugh wholeheartedly at her behaviour. "Oh my… you're incorrigible," I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye.

"What? I'm serious!" she smiles.

"I don't think I'll ever watch that movie the same way again."

She sighs. "That dear Jessica…" she says with a dreamy expression, I shake my head in response. "Okay, what about you then?"

"Grissom," I reply immediately. She chokes on the orange juice gulp she had just taken – the other half of it is sharply expelled in a misty rain, and starts coughing so bad I'm expecting one of her lungs to pass her throat. She looks at me with wild – teary eyes (from all her coughing) – she makes an unintelligible noise that I translate as 'seriously?'.

I keep a straight face for 30 full seconds then just burst into laughing. She glares at me in reprimand. "You made my juice come out of my nose, you idiot," she chastises me but the smile is visible on her lips.

"You're expression was priceless," I laugh even harder. "Come on, it was funny," I plead when she growls at me. "Gross, but funny."

"I'll get you back for that one, smarty pants," she warns me with a chortle.

"Ooh, I'm scared," I counter with a wink. "No, seriously though, my fantasy is Ecklie."

She barely has time to swallow before coughing. She narrows her eyes at me then throws a napkin in my direction. "Shut up," she rolls her eyes.

We keep laughing until the end of the breakfast. By the time Sara stops in front of my house my lips are still firmly locked into a smile. I thank her for the breakfast and step out of the car. She calls me back though and when I turn around I see her joining me on my porch.

"Hum…" she clears her throats. She does her nervous dance again where she doesn't seem to know what to do with herself. I find her adorable when she does this. "Yeah, so, hum… I haven't forgotten that I owe you a fancy date."

My heart leaps unexpectedly. She said date, she said date!

A month ago we had a bad episode, namely me using some bet as an opportunity to get with her physically rather than taking my courage with both hands and admit to her that I was attracted to her and that the idea of more than friendship had crossed my mind. Once the whole thing was sorted it appeared that we both wanted the same.

However, even though she had said that she would probably ask me out, she never did and though sometimes I get the feeling that she meant it, I never brought it back up for fear of finding out that those words were just that, words spoken in a certain context. I never brought it up but I've really wanted it to happen.

And now…

Well it looks like she's decided to follow her words. Right, I need to keep it cool.

"A fancy date… that's right," I nod.

"Yeah," she beams. "I still need a few more days to perfect the night plan, but soon I should ask you out properly."

Happy dancing on the inside!

"Okay," I force my attention on the present. "I'm looking forward to it," I grin.

"Cool," she breathes out.

Was she really holding her breath?

We stay there staring at one another, smiling like lunatic, for several seconds, then she leans in slowly and rests her lips on my cheek, not too far from the corner of my mouth.

Oh.

Wow…

Her confidence comes back when she smiles at me with a wink. "Have a good day," she says before departing.

I wave back at her once she's set behind the wheel, and watch her until her car disappears. I get inside and lean against my front door.

I close my eyes and sigh deeply, biting my bottom lip. There's a freaking butterfly in my stomach, her kiss has burnt my cheek and sent a jolt to my whole body, I don't think I'll be sleeping anytime soon now.

Damn you, Sidle. I think you're working your way under my skin.

And that stupid smile won't come off.

I shake my head as I chuckle, making my way to my bedroom to get ready for sleep – provided I calm down enough to get some.

Damn it.

* * *

**I shall be back soon.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	11. Chapter 11

**And I'm back again.**

**Enjoy,**

**So ;)**

* * *

**Act 11: Sara**

I take a last look at myself, even though at this point it's useless because I can't go back home and change. I think I look decent. I rub my clammy hands against my pants, take a deep breath and ring Catherine's bell.

I really wish my heart wasn't beating in my throat at the moment because it makes me slightly nauseous. There's no reason to be nervous. This is Catherine, I see her every day.

Holy… It's Catherine … alright, don't freak out, don't freak out...

I'm startled out of my mental melt down by the door being opened. The little oxygen I had in my lungs is knocked out. I suddenly feel very inadequate and underdressed. Catherine has always been easy on the eyes, but in her curve hugging black dress, with curly hair, she's currently giving a new definition to the word 'stunning'. My eyes are roaming everywhere at once then come back on her face, and it occurs to me that staring at her like a moron is far from endearing.

"Wha uh huh eh hum…" oh freaking brilliant. That has to be the best line in history, bonus point for the high pitch voice. You rock, Sidle, seriously. I give my head a shake as if that could jump start my brain again and. "You…" damn high pitch! I clear my throat and try yet again. "You look amazing," I breathe out.

Three words straight, progress.

My brain farts again when Catherine sends me a dashing smile, apparently she doesn't mind my predicament. "Thank you, you don't look too shabby yourself."

I have to look down at myself suddenly overcome with the fear that I might have stepped out of my apartment butt naked.

Oh for crying out loud, stop freaking out!

Catherine chuckles at my behaviour and I'm imploring every cosmic force out there to give me the strength to take back the control of my brain. "Thanks," I grin. "Ready?"

She puts the alarm on, steps out of the house locks the door then turns to me again. "Yes."

I offer her my arm and she hooks hers on it delicately. I lead us to my car and hold open her door waiting for her to be seated before closing it and going around to get in myself.

The small talk during the ride helps me to get some of my wit back, and keep my nerves to a low rumble; I also realise that Cath is a bit nervous as well and that helps.

I leave the car to the valet and open the door for Cath again. "Wow, you were not joking when you said fancy."

I smirk with satisfaction, glad that she approves of my choice. To be honest I was afraid she'd think it was too much.

We are immediately directed to our table, I help Cath shading her vest and seating down. The waiter wishes us welcome as he hands over the menus.

"Ah, the dreaded first task," I joke.

"And here I thought I was the only one having a hard time with menus," she chortle.

"People underestimate the delicacy of that task."

"Everything always sounds tasty, then you have to question yourself whether you feel adventurous or not."

"It's like being in the Chocolate Factory, having all those wonderful things within reach and yet you can only choose one sweet," I analyze.

"And even when you do choose, you're already regretting not picking something else even though your choice was great in itself."

"Exactly!"

We both laugh a bit, then return to the thorough study of the menu. The waiter comes a first time but we ask for a few more minutes and a pitched of water. I'm distracted by the constant vibration of my phone.

"My, my, someone is eager to talk to you."

"Yeah, well, let me switch it to silent," I reply. "I'm sorry."

I frown when I see the caller ID though. "A problem?"

"Those were four calls from Grissom."

"You're on call?" she asks with disbelief.

"No, and he knows it because his last words to me were 'enjoy your night off and see you on Wednesday'," I elaborate.

Grissom never bothers us when we're off unless it's really important.

She's about to say something but my phone vibrates again flashing Grissom's name on the screen, only this time her phone echoes mine, she fishes it out of her purse. "I got Warrick over here," she states.

We exchange knowing glances, with matching sighs we answer. "Hey Griss" "Hey Rick."

"_Sara, I know this is your night off and I'm really sorry to bother you but something major happened we need everyone, and I do mean _everyone_. I'm sending you the address right away. Do you need a patrol car to come and get you?_" he speaks with urgency and a tone that leaves no room for argument.

"No, I have my car, I'll be there as soon as possible," I hear Cath saying the same to Warrick.

"_Alright, sorry again about your night off_," he says before hanging up. Figures, I get a hot date and I can't even get through with it.

Just as we're about to stand the waiter comes back to our table. "Ladies, have you made your choice?" he asks with a warm grin.

"Unfortunately we have to go," I announce.

"So soon? Was there something wrong?" he looks apprehensive probably wondering if he was too slow.

"No, duty called," I reassure him.

"The joy of being in the law enforcement," Cath adds.

"Oh, well in that case, let me walk you out."

He accompanies us to the entrance and I shake his hand swiftly sliding a bill in his hand. "Thank you, have a good night," I salute him and he smiles in response wishing us a good night as well.

"This has to be some kind of record," Catherine states when we get close to the spot where the valets bring the car. "The fastest date in my personal history," she tries to make light of the situation.

"Yeah, I'm that good," I snort. "It's only a rain check."

"I hope so," she grins at me.

"I can't believe you! There are at least thirty of you in this team, surely they could have called someone else," the woman not far from us spits with blatant frustration, apparently we're not the only one to have a bad night.

"They did…" the man pleads.

"And you're the only idiot to say yes, this is your night off! I mean, they can survive one night without you."

"Sweetheart believe me, I'd rather stay and enjoy my night with you than go…"

"This was supposed to be… Catherine?" the woman stops her reply short when she notices us and we realize who it is.

"Hey Beth, Darren," Cath greets then and I do the same. Darren works as an EMT, so we get to work with him every now and then.

"You got called in?" I ask piecing their argument together.

"Yeah," Darren confirms.

"Same here," Cath informs him.

"You guys too?" comes a third familiar voice, we all turn and discover Troy – a fireman – and his wife Lisa. We exchange greetings and look at one another.

"Do you know what happened?" Darren asks us.

"They wouldn't say anything other than they're calling everybody in," Troy shrugs.

"Warrick said the same word for word."

"All hands on deck, no details," I muse.

There's a cold chill running down my spine and I'm sure the same is happening to the others. There are rarely times where we all have to be gathered for the same event. If every force is to converge on the same spot then by default it's a bad omen; and the fact that we don't have much details let us know that it's really bad.

The tension shifts immediately, apprehension settles in.

"Honey, take the car, I'm going to get a cab home," Beth suggests softly, her frustration and anger instantly replaced by understanding.

"No, no I'm driving you home," Darren protests.

"Don't be silly, you have to be there fast. I'll be fine."

"Here's an idea, Beth why don't you come home, we might as well get a girls' night out of this," Lisa offers. "It's been a long time anyway."

"That's a plan," Beth agrees.

In times like this one, I realize that every mundane event, every friendly tournament, every charity gig that gather us all created greats bounds, and a second support system for our families. With demanding jobs you know you have found the right person to be with when they understand when to be easy about things, like right now.

Cath and I turn a deaf ear when reaffirmations of love and promises to get back home safe and sound are exchanged.

"You be careful too girls," Lisa addresses to Catherine and I, Beth agrees.

"Yeah don't worry."

"Look out for one another," Beth adds before departing with Lisa.

The four of us watch them walking away to get a cab. "You're lucky," Catherine declares.

"Trust me, I know and I remind myself of that fact every day," says Troy with a fond smile.

"Yeah, same here," Darren concurs. "I hate our jobs in days like this. Seriously, it takes at least a month to get a reservation here and barely two bites into the main course and we have to go, unbelievable," he groans.

"Dude, I didn't get to finish the hors-d'oeuvre," Troy outbids.

"We didn't even get to order," Catherine shrugs.

"Okay, you guys win," Troy chortles.

"Yeah, hands down," Darren agrees.

"The water was delicious though," I joke.

"While this night is still alright, let it be said that you girls both look fantastic tonight," Troy compliments with a wink.

"I second that."

Cath and I thank them with smiles. The valets come back and pull our cars in front of the restaurant. "Time to brace ourselves," Darren states and we all nod.

"See you guys in a bit," I salute them, open the door for Cath and get in.

The drive is silent, I know I'm hoping that whatever happened, it's not as bad as I can imagine right now.

Fifteen minutes later Cath and I are both in the lab locker room getting change – away from one another, and gearing ourselves up. It's another twenty minutes before we arrive at the scene; as soon as we step out of the car all thoughts of our ruined date evaporate.

We were expecting chaos. We got worse.

Fuck.

* * *

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	12. Chapter 12

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**Act 12: Catherine**

I'm starting to second guess myself. This whole thing could just backfire at me. It seemed like a good idea two days ago, now I'm not so sure about it. It's too late to change now, that and I don't have anything else. I think that unconsciously this is the very reason why I didn't prepare a plan B, so I wouldn't back out at the last moment.

"Alright, how do I look?" I ask Lindsey.

"You're perfect," she beams. "Well almost, here," she hands me a lipstick.

"That might be a bit much," I wince.

"No, trust me."

"Okay," I let her apply my make up, once she's done and I look at my reflection I know she was right. Even if I don't feel overconfident about this, it's all about the details and if I'm going to do it I have to do it all the way.

Lindsey and I spend another twenty minutes trying to get ready then we're set to go. "Linds, have fun tonight, but as I told you…"

"Having fun doesn't mean that I have to stop using my head," she repeats my words verbatim.

"That's right. I've given cautions and I want you to promise you'll follow them. I'm trusting you tonight, so don't go and make me regret it. You and Elie can stay at the party until one then I want you to go back to hers. I want you to call me when you're at the party, and then when you're back at Elie's, understood?"

"Yes, Mom. You have my word I'll be careful."

"Good," I hug her tightly.

I drive her to her friend Elie and kiss her goodbye. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom. Have fun tonight, knock them dead," she winks at me.

I drive to the lab with a knot in my stomach, by the time I park the car I'm seconds away from losing battle against nausea. I take deep calming breaths, this is alright. I mean it's the only night I can pull this off. As a matter of fact, it's not me.

Yeah, that's it, it's not me.

When I step out of my car, I'm fully in character, there's a swing in my hips, I'm oozing with a confidence that I don't really possess, ready to give an Academy Award wining performance.

I walk into the room that has been transformed into a ballroom for the evening and a sudden silence falls upon everyone. My eyes almost immediately set on Sara who's talking with Warrick, Nick and Greg – the four of them dressed alike – with her back facing me, I move slowly toward her.

She eventually turns around, noticing the reigning silence and because I believe that Greg has stopped himself in mid sentence once he spotted me. When her eyes fall on me, she has a slight recoil movement like she had been pushed, her jaw drops open and her eyes open big enough to almost pop out.

Those three seconds, and the expression on her face are worth all my efforts. The room comes back to life at the same time, wolf whistles are thrown my way, I think someone says 'hubba, hubba, hubba," and some appreciative curses reach my ears, but all my attention is on Sara.

I close the last metres between us, slowly hook a finger under her chin and close her mouth. "Hello there," I speak with a sultry voice.

She gulps audibly then speaks, or at least try because what comes out of her mouth are jumbled sounds. "Hey," she squeaks when she gets her voice back.

"I'm a poor copy of the original, but I'm certainly glad that you seem to like what you see," I continue.

"Screw Jessica… she looks like an old hag at the moment," Sara breathes out still dazed, blinking slowly. "You on the other hand are insanely… _smoking_ _hot_…" there's a beat during which her words reach back to her brain and she closes her eyes in apparent embarrassment. "Can we please pretend that my brain filtered that?"

I smirk. "If you insist," I run a finger on the collar of her shirt, and give her a slow wink.

"You are… a vision," she tries again.

She's dressed in black pants, black shirt, white suspenders, a red tie, a black vest and a black hat with a white band on it complete her outfit. Apparently she and the boys wanted to play old school mafia clan 50s style.

"Do ya whu uh… drink?" Sara stammers half of her sentence but I get the main line.

"I'd like that," I grab her tie in a true Jessica fashion pulling her face close to mine "Very. Much," I punctuate every word, my eyes locked on hers. She slowly swings back to her original position; I don't move an inch and just let the silky fabric slipping between my fingers all the way through. "Don't be long, now," I try to make my smile sexy, and from her expression I guess it works.

"Yes ma'am," she nods several times and stumbles a bit as she turns around goes to get me a drink.

"Now, that's what I call a costume," Warrick comments as he comes next to me.

"Yeah, I think I made an impression," I play coy.

"To put it mildly," he chuckles. "I mean, you've just made Sara have a synaptic meltdown, and she's Sara."

I grin wider at his words. If only he knew…

"You're bad, Cath, you're bad."

I turn to him and push my chest a little forward and put a hand on it. "Oh, Rick, I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way," I mimic the tone of Mrs Rabbit for one of her most famous lines. He chuckles in response.

The rest of the night is awesome, I get asked to dance several times; I'm having a blast with the guys and Sara. The best part is when I dance with her, being dressed as Jessica Rabbit means that my dress is backless down to the small of my back; I can feel her shaky hands against my skin, her touch is gentle and delicate, I can feel her heart beating strong in her chest too, but I don't say anything and just enjoy our closeness, and if I'm honest part of me is conceitedly happy to have an effect on her.

All the time we're dancing butterflies are wrecking havoc in my stomach but I don't care.

After the lab Halloween party ends we decide to all go back at Warrick's and keep having a good time until the early rays of light. Sara drives me back home, I'm tired but I'm very happy that the night went as long as it did. The smile on my face could not be any bigger. I even get a bonus, I'm wrapped into Sara's scent, she lent me her vest and during the ride home I can pretend to be in her arms again.

She walks me up to my porch, like she always does, and we stand there staring at one another. She wants to kiss me, she has wanted to almost all night, I know it because I've felt the same way.

"I know I've said it, but you look absolutely, amazingly, stunningly beautiful in that dress," she says shyly.

"I'm not tired to hear it," I chortle. "So, thank you."

The atmosphere becomes electric. I'm consumed by the desire to kiss her, but I won't; and though she doesn't say it I have the feeling that she's thinking the same as I do. I don't want our first kiss to be right here, right now, because right now I'm not me. Right now I'm some enactment – enhancement? – of one of her fantasies.

I don't want our first kiss to be a fantasy, when I'm all dolled up pretending to be a woman I'm not. If we share a first kiss… _when _we share our first kiss I want to be myself and I want her to be herself, so as much as I want it now, I can't let it happen.

I break the spell first and lean in, I let my lips linger against her cheek then pull back a little, I hear her small intake of breath as we share a tiny Eskimo kiss, the fact that she doesn't try to close the remaining inch between our lips lets me know that I made the right call. I step away. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she beams. She tilts her hat with the tip of her fingers. "Ma'am," she winks at me and with that she's gone.

I get inside and lean against my door, take a deep breath to calm my thundering heart. Sara's vest is still wrapped around my shoulders, if anything it makes my heartbeat even more erratic.

I wanted that kiss so badly.

Damn.

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

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**Act 13: Sara**

"Hey there," I greet Catherine as she climbs into my car.

"Hey," she smiles back at me and once again I feel like something was blooming inside my chest.

It's been happening every time she smiled at me for a little while now. Part of it is because I'm under her spell – there is no point denying that, and another part is because I know that those smiles are specifically for me. It's subtle but there's a glint in her eyes and a warmth that are exclusively directed at me. When she smiles at other people it's different. How can I not feel all giddy inside when she can make me feel special with something as simple as a smile?

"I'm excited about tonight," she declares as I'm driving us to our destination.

"Me too, I can't wait to watch Lindsey perform."

"Hopefully tonight is the last time I hear that song," she jokes.

Lindsey has been listening to the same song for hours, everyday for the past four weeks. Catherine nerves have been tested to say the least, but she didn't say anything to Lindsey knowing that her daughter was only practicing for her recital. When the song wasn't on Lindsey was singing it, making any escape impossible, and it got to the point that Catherine hummed it at work unconsciously.

We arrive early but there is already a herd of parents waiting in front of the high school, the excitation of the evening palpable. Catherine excuses herself to go and talk to a few parents, I feel out of my element because I don't really belong here, the only thing that keeps me from bolting out of here is the fact that even if she's talking to other people Catherine glances in my direction every now and then grinning at me.

"Good evening, Sara," I'm startled by Nancy.

"Hey, Nancy. How are you doing?"

"I'm good thanks, what about you?"

"Same here. Can't wait to see what my boys have prepared. They wouldn't tell and banned me from their room while they were rehearsing. To be honest I'm split between excitation and fear, because I know how their minds work," I chuckle at her assessment.

I'm not completely at ease with Nancy, and I think she knows it. I'd go as far as saying that she probably doesn't want me to feel too comfortable around her. Catherine had her and her three boys – Jeremy, Allan and Timothy, for dinner and I was gently coerced to stay, twice. Nancy has always been very pleasant with me, but clearly she has been gauging me, forcing me to keep my guard up. I don't know what or if Catherine has told her anything about me, but I don't think it has escaped her attention that I was around a lot as of late.

Nancy is really smooth about her inquisition though, but I know that she's basically waiting to pounce on me with her claws out at the first false step I make.

Lucky for me though Catherine comes back before Nancy's eyes can bore a hole in my skull, she hugs Nancy and they start talking animatedly. They are as close to one another as I am to my own siblings. It doesn't matter that they talk every day or see each other almost every day it's always like they had been apart for months.

Catherine is a family person, we've spent a night talking about it, and whenever she mentioned Nancy or one of her brothers – she has three, her eyes lit up with affection.

I have to keep close to the both of them when we are finally allowed to get in and go into the auditorium, they are moving expertly through the crowd and ninja their way to the perfect seats, not too far from the scene to see everything but not too close.

I barely have time to look at the program before we are plunged into darkness save from the halo of light directed at the stage. One of the teachers, or maybe the Principal of the school wishes us welcome and talk about how the kids have worked hard to present us something, asks us not to be harsh critic and hopes that we'll enjoy the show.

I have to admit I'm impressed by the performances. Nancy has a slight panic when it is announce that the boys will make a comedic routine, but they turn out to be quite hilarious. There are another five performances then Lindsey finally comes onto the stage along with a young boy holding a guitar.

I found myself beaming in anticipation. The boy starts strumming but suddenly stops and he looks at the crowd suddenly taking everything in; colours drain from his face, stage fright overwhelms him and he runs off stage, leaving Lindsey on her own.

Oh no.

Lindsey looks at her friend departing then turns back to the crowd. Panic crosses her features and her chest is rising and falling quickly but against all odds she starts to sing; her voice is weak and wavering and after the second sentence she trails off. Catherine has a hand over her a mouth, her eyes watering as she's witnessing her girl slowly crumbling down.

I know what she feels, it's physically painful to watch it happen and be powerless about it. Lindsey tries again but once more can't get passed the second sentence. Tension fills the room; people are silently squirming in their chair seat feeling bad for Lindsey.

She's slowly enduring the public humiliation and I can see tears gathering in her eyes as she's looking at the audience.

It's not how it's supposed to be. This is her moment.

She talked to me; she told me how much it meant for her to be back on stage. The last time she had participated to a school recital, Catherine and Eddie had made a scene and humiliated she had ran off stage becoming 'the girl who ruined the school play'. If that wasn't bad enough, that day turned out to be the one she almost died in a car, and the one she lost her father forever.

She had refused to take part in any school show after that. For the first time she wanted to change that, and she has been excited about it for weeks.

She's not supposed to live the most embarrassing moment of her life; she's not supposed to turn into the girl who brought the entire show down. It can't happen.

Nobody's laughing but everybody's growing impatient, Lindsey's shaking now and it's clear that she's second away from bolting.

I'm not sure when I stood up but without even thinking I walk up to the stage and jump on it. I grab one of the guitars resting on a tripod behind Linds – for the next performance I suppose, and put the strap around my shoulder.

I think there's noise in the audience but I don't care all my focus is on Lindsey, I start plucking the strings slowly and step onto the halo of light. Linds who was so caught up in the moment hadn't noticed me getting there. Tears are silently running on her face and she shakes her head, but I'm having none of that.

"I'm at a payphone, trying to call home…" I start singing, nodding my head to her so that she joins me, so that she knows it's alright; I have her back.

It takes a second but eventually her feeble voice mingles with mine. "Where are the times gone…"

She keeps her eye on me as we sing through the intro, we start the verse together then I tilt my head toward the crowd, she understands and faces it again. She closes her eyes to focus and little by little her voice gain strength; so much that by the chorus she starts owning the stage.

I had heard her sing before, or at least I thought I had. I don't think I'm the only taken aback by her voice, it's raw, a bit broken but full of soul, it's actually hard to believe that such a small person has so powerful pipes hidden inside. It occurs to me that she had never sung like that before because right now on that stage, with her eyes closed, she's pouring every bit of herself in that song. She's enjoying herself and it shows.

I back her voice up here and there, she turns to me again harmonizing over the bridge then surprises everyone by reaching a high note to introduce the last reprise of the chorus.

The song finally comes to an end and people go wild, giving her a standing ovation, Lindsey opens her eyes again, she's dumbfounded at people's reaction but a shy smile graces her lips. She looks at me but I sign for her to bow and she does.

I put the guitar back on the tripod and jump off stage to let Lindsey enjoy her moment as she should. I'm next to Catherine when everyone starts sitting down again. My heart skips a beat when I feel Catherine's hand slipping into mine, entwining our fingers together and holding it tightly. I turn to her, and her eyes are shining with tears but she's smiling, a smile I can't describe but that sends my heartbeat rocketing. I grin back before turning my attention back to the stage watching the last acts, never letting go of Catherine's hand.

After the recital, we wait for the children outside. Lindsey all but jumps at me holding me tight enough to cut my airways; I'm a bit awkward about it, not being a naturally touchy person or hugged by people in general, but I manage to return her embrace warmly, that embrace says 'thank you' more than her words could. I allow myself to kiss the top of her head and ruffle her hair a bit so she knows that she's welcome.

Nancy offers to have ice creams before going home to celebrate and there's a unison of agreements. I enjoy the animated talk of the children who are all acting like they were high on something but I suppose it's only the adrenaline from the evening still running in their veins, Nancy and Catherine are lost in conversation and I lag behind lost in thoughts.

I think about my mother. I had asked her once why she was so insistent about me and my siblings learning music, and she had answered 'someday music will save your life'. I had thought she was just eccentric back then. I know that when I tell her about tonight she'll tell me that the universe had been at work for that very moment; that everything had been connected for me to end up on stage on a rescue mission.

Lindsey playing that song over and over again, getting it stuck into Catherine's mind who sung it at work without noticing, leading me to learn it and play it at home just for fun and because it was the thing that made me think of Catherine that day; the whole thing coming together in the most unexpected way.

Right now, my mother's answer sounds wise, rather than a bit crazy, and the scientist in me is ready to accept her spiritual belief that everything is connected one way or another – even if it's just for tonight.

"Hey, you're alright there?" Catherine asks when she seats next to me on a bench.

We are at small park, Nancy and the children have decided to climb a giant spider web made out of ropes and they are all laughing.

"Yeah."

"You're all quiet," she states.

"I'm just enjoying the moment," I assure her.

She stares at me a few seconds before speaking again. "What you did tonight was amazing. Thank you, for standing up for her."

The emotions in her voice make me briefly speechless; the moment is heavy and overwhelming. "Meh, I was just looking for an excuse to get on stage and enjoy my five minutes of limelight," I opt for humour, not wanting to break the mood. She chuckles with a shake of her head. "Although, Linds casted a rather big shadow. Who knew she had such a set of pipes?"

"I know! I was blown away. I never heard her sing like that before, heck I don't even know where she got that voice to start with, because it's not from me that's for sure, and Eddie was almost tone deaf, so he's out too."

We both chortle, watching Lindsey having fun with Nancy and her cousins. "She gave me goose bumps," Catherine declares pensively.

"Yeah, me too."

We stay comfortably in silence for the rest of the evening, then we decide that it's time to go home. We go back to our car bidding Nancy and the boys goodnight – by the genuine smile Nancy sends my way as we part I think I've earned some points on the secret test she's been putting me through since we've met.

The drive is short and all too soon I find myself walking Cath and Linds to the door of their house. Lindsey hugs me first, wishes me goodnight before disappearing inside. Cath and I found ourselves staring at one another, I want to kiss her – I've wanted to for quite some time, but once again I hold back not feeling that tonight is the night for our first kiss. Catherine puts a soft hand on my cheek and caresses my skin with her thumb, then she leans in and delivers a kiss on my other cheek, before giving me a tiny Eskimo kiss, just like she had done it at Halloween. I lean in and rest my forehead against hers, I'm sure she can hear my heartbeat so much it's strong.

"Goodnight," she whispers, her breath teasing my lips.

"Goodnight," I echo with a nod and put some distance between us again. I smile at her then turn around to walk back to my car.

I'm pulling my seatbelt when I notice Catherine walking to the car. I open my window, but don't get a chance to ask her if everything's alright. "Stay," she utters softly.

One word, four letters, that's all it take for my brain to shut down abruptly.

When I don't react she goes on. "I have a spare room if you prefer…" she lets her sentence hanging. "I just don't want you to go. Stay," she requests again.

I get past my brain fart but know with certainty that my voice won't work so I don't even try to reply with words, I just nod and her grin broadens.

I close my window, step out of the car and lock it. I take her offered hand as she guides us to the house and twenty minutes later, I'm changed, lying down on her bed, holding her to me. Even though I know it's impossible I could swear that the corners of my mouth are reaching my ears at the moment, lucky me the room is dark because I don't think it's an endearing look.

Just seconds before Morpheus takes me to his kingdom, a single thought crosses my mind.

I'm starting to have feelings for a woman I haven't even kissed.

Fuck.

* * *

**The song is 'Payphone' by Maroon 5**

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	14. Chapter 14

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**Act 14: Catherine**

I enter the break room quietly not to disturb Sara who has fallen asleep on the couch. "Cath, I don't know how you managed to get your hands on some of Greg's special blend but I'm ready to beg to have some," she mumbles sleepily without opening her eyes or moving an inch.

I snort. "Okay, I get the coffee, because I've seen you track a single cup over almost a hundred yards, which is kind of freaky by the way," I note. "But how could you possibly know it was me? I'm not wearing heels today," I ask genuinely intrigued

There's a pause like she had dozed off again. "Supervision," she mumbles eventually.

I roll my eyes and watch her head lolls on the side, sign that she's going back to sleep. I indulge myself, and stare at her a moment. She looks adorable; I've always thought there was something childish at the way she sleeps. Admittedly I'm fonder of that little fact since we've started seeing each other outside of work but no one needs to know that.

I shake my head and walk silently to her. I hover one of the mugs I'm holding not too far from her head. It takes a few seconds but the aroma of coffee fills her nostrils. I move the mug from left to right, and it's like an invisible thread was linking it to Sara's face because she's blindly following the movement, her eyes still closed as if she was refusing to fully wake up.

I bite my lips to stifle my laugh and move the mug away and Sara keeps following. I move it a little more away forcing Sara into a sitting position, eventually when she can't follow any further without actually getting up she lazily opens her eyes. She stares at the mug longingly then let her eyes roam along my hand and arm until she reaches my face.

"You're mean," she mumbles.

"Not when I brought you a full mug of Greg's coffee, I'm not."

"I amend my last statement, you're amazing."

"Much better," I chuckle and sit down next to her. "Pulling a double?"

"Yeah, and Griss is being a meanie."

"Aww poor thing."

"I swear it's like his tarantula has crawled up his butt, it sure is making my day bad. Anyway," she sighs. She takes a sip of coffee and it's like she had received a jolt of electricity, she's instantly alert and energy is slowly coming back to her. "Oh I needed that. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome."

"How are you?"

"I'm good, I have arson case with three burnt cars to dismantle," I mention casually.

There's a short silence and I can see her frown slightly from the corner of my eyes. "Why does this coffee suddenly taste like bribery?"

"Because it is?" I reply cheekily.

"Sneaky," she narrows her eyes at me.

"Hey, do you know how hard it is to talk Greg out of, not one, but two full mugs of his special blend these days? I mean, he's getting tough in negotiations," I argue.

"Fine, fine… you got me woman," she pouts. I stand up and offer her my hand to help her up as well. "But let it be said that it's the last time I'm letting black coffee mailed me into something."

I snort. "As if."

"I'm serious!" she protests.

"Yeah, yeah, move along grumpy," I push her forward. "Oh, before I forget, breakfast at mine after shift?"

"Sure," she replies immediately.

Six hours later I'm getting ready to leave, my mind is stuck on Sara – a normal setting lately, mind you – she has received several text messages during the shift. They were not work related, and whoever sent them made her smile and I must say that I didn't like the fact that her attention had shifted from me. Irrational, I know.

Speaking of Sara, I hope she didn't forget that we're having breakfast at my place. I walk in the corridors looking through the glass walls of the different labs looking for her but don't find her. My search is halted at the entrance of the lab. I see her dash out of the lab to the parking lot, by the time I catch up and look to see what had put her pants on fire, I see her holding a woman fiercely, kissing her cheek and bending her playfully. The woman laughs at Sara's antics and just holds her back just at tightly.

Sara pulls back and cups the woman's face, her own face radiating with joy and warmth. She says something and the woman responds with a broad grin. Beyond the obvious enthusiasm what struck me are the beauty and the youth of the other woman, her fire red hair, her twinkling green eyes and her dazzling smile; and the way Sara is so easily open to physical contact with her, in fact it looks like she doesn't want to let go. She grabs the woman's hand, entwining their fingers and reaches out in her pocket to retrieve her phone.

I jump when my phone comes to life and pick up immediately. "Willows."

"_Hey, Cath, it's Sara. I know we had planned to go back to yours for breakfast but something came up and I can't make it, rain check?_"

A golf ball seemed to have lodged itself in my throat, making it impossible for any words to get anywhere near my lips. Sara frown and I reflexively step away from the entrance door in case she looks in this direction. "_Cath?_"

"Uh, yeah, yeah," I stammer. "No problem. Everything's okay?"

"_Yeah, don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow then. Have a good day_," even though I can't see her at the moment I can guess her smile.

I don't have time to reply before she hangs up. I step back near the door and watch as she raises hand she has still linked with the woman's and pass her arm over the woman's shoulders never breaking the contact. She leans in and kisses the woman's temple then they walk to her car, within the five next minutes they are gone.

I'm suddenly aware of the acute pain in my hand, when I look down I realize that I'm clutching the strap of my backpack so hard that my knuckles have turned white. I'm overcome with the desire to punch something really hard but just content myself with walking to my car.

What was supposed to be a pleasant morning turned sour to say the least.

Needless to say I barely get any sleep, my mind working overtime with the idea of Sara and the other woman, wondering what they might be doing.

When a very pleased and giddy Sara plops down beside me on the break room couch the next night, my mood doesn't improve at all.

"Hey there, how was your day?" she asks enthusiastically.

"Uneventful," I reply with a flat tone, barely glancing at her before returning my attention to the file in my hands. "How was yours?"

"Excellent, didn't get much sleep out of it, but it was worth it."

Oh yeah, just what I needed to hear.

"Sounds like you had fun," I force a grin on my lips when I realize that the words might have come out too harshly.

"I did," she confirms. "I'm sorry I cancelled our breakfast at the last minute though. As a matter of fact I want to take you to breakfast today to make it up," she offers warmly.

"Yeah I can't, I promised Nancy I'd help her with something," I reply automatically. "Sorry," I stand up. "I have to go see Doc at the morgue. Have a nice shift," I end our conversation and walk out not giving her the chance to answer.

The next four days go back slowly, with me barely talking to her, using my meetings and paperwork as reasons to explain why our interactions always turn short. I know she has noticed the distance and my odd behaviour but she doesn't say anything about it, doesn't push the issue.

I'm ridiculous, I know it.

I'm jealous and I don't have any right to be. It's not like Sara and I have laid out ground rules or anything. I mean we haven't even kissed for crying out loud. We haven't promised each other anything, so she's free to see whoever she wants and do whatever she wants with them.

I'm just angry, because for a moment there I thought we had something, something special. It was some good old fashioned courtship and I enjoyed that. It made me realize that too many times I went for what I wanted immediately without even taking time to truly appreciate the other person. With Sara it's different, it's slow but it's tender, and it's delicate, and it's great, and it's beautiful, and it means something. It means something to me but maybe it doesn't mean the same to her.

I'm angrier for thinking those things, for thinking that Sara doesn't value what we have. I've come to know more and more about her, and she's not like that. She's not one to act or pretend and I hate myself for thinking that she did act and pretend around me even for a mere seconds.

I know it's my insecurities talking, just like I know that all I have to do is ask her who the redhead is. I know they've been seeing each other every day since the redhead appeared out of thin air, and I know they also have pet names for one another – it was sickening to eavesdrop that particular phone call of Sara. I should ask Sara, but I can't. I won't, because I'm afraid of her answer. I'm afraid that she'll tell me that it's an ex flame of hers and that she'd rather be with her than with me doing some high school version of dating.

I'm taken out of my reverie by the very person who's been monopolizing my thoughts. "Why did you give me a cupcake?" I ask with an intrigued frown.

"Not just any cupcake, it's a 'feel good' cupcake," she specifies with a grin.

"Have you been inhaling fumes again?"

"Taste it, smarty pants."

I do as told, and the sweet taste invading my mouth does make me feel a bit better, albeit for a few seconds. "Aha, you're grinning, it is working."

"It's alright," I shrug.

"You're so generous with adverbs grumpy."

"Thanks," I say with a shy smile then return to my reading.

"You look tired," she states after a minute.

"I don't sleep a lot lately," I admit. I leave out the part where I'm staying awake thinking about her with the redhead.

"I'm taking you out for a 'feel good' breakfast," she declares firmly.

I sigh ready to decline. "I…" my words die on my lips when I look at her again. She's looking at me with sad eyes and a pout. "Oh come on Sar…"

"Can you honestly say no to that face?" she accentuates her pout. "Pppllllllease," she snivels in an imitation of Roger Rabbit.

She's not playing fair. I can't resist her when she's looking so… cute.

"Alright fine…"

"Promise?"

Damn, now I can't even fake a last minute emergency. "Promise," I cave in. "Just please, enough with the puppy face."

She beams. "Perfect, I'll wait for you in the parking lot," she announces before leaving me alone.

After shift when we are sitting at a table in one of the diners we like to go to, we are not really talking. She asks about my shift, I ask about hers but for the first time the conversation seems to have gone dry. Part of it is because I don't want to talk, the other part is due to the fact that Sara is not giving me her full attention. She keeps looking alternatively at her watch and at the door behind me.

"Do you have a plane to catch or something?" I ask, slightly annoyed.

She looks at me a bit embarrassed. "No, sorry. I'm just waiting for someone."

I mustn't have heard her correctly. Did she say that she was waiting for someone?

She's never done this before, never let anyone intrude in our exclusive time together. I'm peeved.

Scratch that, I'm angry. "Should I go?" I ask bluntly not wanting to stay another minute.

"What? No, no, no," she says hastily. She winces and guilt appears on her face. "Alright, I have something to confess," she scratches the back of her neck. "I had ulterior motives to invite you to breakfast today."

Oh this keeps getting better and better.

"Why am I here?" I barely manage to keep anger out of my voice, but she understands at once that I'm irritated.

"There's someone I really want you to meet," she goes on. "It's really important to me," she says with pleading eyes.

I use all my will to stay in my seat even though every fibre of my being is screaming at me to bolt out of here. "Oh, there she is," Sara's face lit up as she's looking over my shoulder.

I don't turn around but start praying.

Please don't let it be the redhead, please don't let it be the redhead…

"Hey, Pumpkin over here," Sara stands up.

Come the fuck on…

I briefly close my eyes in defeat, when I open them again Sara is hugging the redhead before kissing her on the cheek. "Hazy, I want you to me Catherine Willows. Catherine, this is Hazel my…"

"Your little sister…" I finish for her in a breath.

What the…?

"Exactly," Sara beams.

I'm staring at Sara and Hazel, mouth agape trying to work out if this is a joke or not.

"Cath?" Sara calls me expectantly.

I shake myself out of my stupor and stand up. "Sorry, I'm being rude. Pleased to meet you," I extend my hand to Hazel which she takes gladly with a soft smile.

"The pleasure's all mine."

"I'm sorry about that," I apologize. "It's just… shocking to think of the two of you like sisters."

They both chortle, Sara sits down and scoot over the wall to make a place for Hazy on her side of the booth. "Yeah, we get that every time. She got her looks from Mom, and I unfortunately took after our father."

"I got the looks, she got the brains," Hazel points her thumb at Sara.

"Hey! I'm no ugly duckling either!" Sara whines.

"And here I was expecting you to say that I was not stupid… but I'm glad your ego is fine," Hazel rolls her eyes.

And I chuckle at their banter.

"Hazy, has been away for a year, and she surprised me at work the other day, that's why I cancelled our plans," Sara explains. "I thought she wasn't coming back for another month. God, I'm so glad you're here," she says with affection before putting her arm around Hazel's neck and kissing her on her temple.

"I'm glad too, I missed your ugly face when I was away."

"Hey, watch it!" Sara pokes her in the rib.

The rest of the breakfast goes smoothly, with a good mood and a lot of laughter. I focus myself entirely on getting to know Hazel, just so I won't have to think about the fact that I've been an idiot for the past four days.

Fatigue takes its toll on me rather quickly, so after only an hour I go back home, not without inviting the both of them to dinner for next week before Hazel goes back to their home in California.

I would have thought that being able to put a name on the face of the woman who's been haunting my thought and making me question everything I have with Sara would have made me feel a certain relief so that I could sleep now. But instead of that more questions are eating at me. Did I ruin everything with Sara? Should I have the 'labelling conversation' with her? Do I want to label things between us? Is there still something between us?

I'm nowhere near sleep when someone rings at my door. I frown when I notice the time, wondering who could come at my door that early in the morning.

Sara, as it turns out.

"Hey?" I greet her with a frown.

"Did I wake you?"

"No," I shake my head.

"Okay, cool," she sighs in relief. I stare at her expectantly and she shakes her head. "Right, sorry. You've been distant lately and you seemed rather preoccupied."

I think now is a good time as any to panic.

"You don't have to tell me anything and I'm not going to push, but I wanted you to know that if you want talk, at any time of the day or night, I'm here," she says with a soft caring smile.

Or maybe not.

"Thanks," I nod, genuinely touched that she came all the way to tell me this.

"Cool," she grins. "I'll let you go back to sleep then," she adds and gets ready to leave.

"Sara," I call her back.

I'm going to regret this…

Everything is fine, I really don't need to do this…

But I want her to know… no, I just want to be honest even though I'm not sure I want to hear what she might say after. We've managed to be so opened with one another ever since we've started… whatever this is and not telling her would feel too much like putting a wall between us and I don't want that.

"Yeah?"

I can still back down.

I should.

I sigh.

Emotional vulnerability might kill me, but dishonesty will corrode everything. If I'm going to blow myself up I might as well aim high.

"I was just being silly," I go on. "My… insecurities made me act silly," I confess.

She looks at me curiously, clearly not getting it, but then again I didn't give her enough pieces of the puzzle.

"I saw you on the parking lot…" I'm not really sure how to turn this. "When she came to surprise you, I saw you and from what I saw I assumed…" I clear my throat. "I made assumptions and those made me act silly."

Right, be more cryptic, why don't you.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was… jealous."

There, it's out.

"… of Hazy?" she tries cautiously.

"Evidently that was before knowing who she was… I mean… she's young, she's beautiful and you two don't look anything alike… although once we know you are related the resemblance does show a bit… but at the time I thought… I assumed she was a flame or whatever… and even then it shouldn't have mattered because it's not like you and I…" I trail off.

Oh look, I think my shovel has hit China, a sure sign that I can stop digging.

"Like I said it was just me being stupid… I was jealous and I shouldn't have been… I have no right to be…" oh for goodness sake stop talking!

"You're right, you shouldn't have," she says firmly.

My heart drops into my stomach, I hang my head, biting my bottom lip to keep my tears in check, looking at my feet because at this moment they look fantastically interesting.

It occurs to me that this whole honesty thing was probably not my most luminous idea. My stomach ties itself into a knot, I've said too much, I've ruined it all. If my behaviour of the past four days wasn't enough I have now showed her how neurotic I am, as if she needed more reasons to run away from me.

Brilliant Cath, just freaking brilliant.

"It figures that you wouldn't know how incredibly powerful your spell is," she says softly. I look up and stare at her in confusion, not really getting what she's saying. She's not looking at me with anger or exasperation, but with warmth and affection. "I'll tell you one thing about it though, it makes the idea of looking past you hardly conceivable," she grins. "Not that I'm complaining."

I gasp when she gently put a strand of hair behind my ear before resting her hand on my cheek watching her thumb moving delicately against my skin. She leans in slowly and let her lips linger on my cheek, her other hand finds mine and she slips her fingers in between mine, giving a gently squeeze. A soft moan escapes my mouth in a whisper; she caresses my nose with hers before resting her forehead against mine; her eyes are closed when she lets out a deep sigh.

"Sweet dreams," her whisper comes to tickle my lips and my knees buckle a bit.

My head is still spinning when she pulls back with an affectionate smile and before I know it she's gone.

I get back inside and lean against my door, my mind still trying to make sense of what she said, though her kiss makes it hard to use higher brain functions at the moment.

My spell… what…?

Oh.

Oooh…

I think she said that she liked me, and that she wasn't interested in anybody else.

My heartbeat doubles once her words take their full meaning. I go back to bed, grinning like an idiot at my ceiling.

It's official, then. We're on the same wavelength.

Damn.

* * *

**Thanks for reading**


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